in many countries, younger people are forgetting their old and traditional languages. is this accepted? discuss both sides of this issue?

In numerous nations, younger generations are forgetting or destroying their mother tongue; my personal attitude toward
this
is that they must keep their traditional
language
to communicate with their ancestors and should keep these languages alive.The idea provokes strong arguments, which will be explained here. On the one hand, many young
people
would like to speak in a modern
language
,
that is
comfortable and makes better sense to them,even though,
this
can be rejected. It is argued that many
people
would like to show them that they have a sophisticated and urban personality.
Furthermore
, It depends on the surrender that every individual lives, in terms of imagine boys and girls who grow up in a village have different methods of speaking, they like to speak like local
people
,
while
,
this
trend differs among urbanists, they have faced many
people
with different words.
For instance
, some students who are accepted to university, when they attend class and visit other kinds of
people
to speak, may feel ashamed to speak in a local
language
.The best solution is that governments should
make
Verb problem
hold
show examples
many festivals to encourage younger
people
to keep their mother tongue alive. The other side of
this
debate is that parents
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
push the pressure of speaking natively to connect with their ancestors and keep their identities, which may be accepted by some parts of society.
This
is the case; our older generations have innovative lifestyles and customs that will be healthy and can impact our mental health.
For example
, most grandparents are knowledgeable and experienced and younger
people
can gain a host of experiences
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
them.
To conclude
, it appears that the aim of these opinions is admirable, but keeping our identity by using traditional
language
is a longer-term thoughtful programme that we practically rely on the government to manage.
Submitted by takhtejamshid1400historikal on

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Overall Improvement
To enhance this essay further, ensure that each paragraph fully supports its main idea with detailed examples and explanations. Provide more specific instances to clarify points, especially when arguing about modern language and cultural identity.
Task Response
The introduction clearly states your stance but could be strengthened by providing a more explicit preview of the main points you will discuss.
Task Response
Ensure main points are well-supported with examples and detailed explanations. For instance, when discussing modern language appealing to young people, consider adding specific examples of languages or situations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve structural clarity by using clearer topic sentences and logically transitioning between ideas. Use connecting phrases and transitional words to enhance the flow between paragraphs and different ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a coherent structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, which facilitates understanding of the main points discussed.
Task Response
You have expressed a strong stance on the importance of preserving traditional languages, which provides a clear angle to the discussion.

Your opinion

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