IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some say that by showing spectacular sporting events such as Olympic and world cup. Adults will do regular exercise. Do you agree or disagree? Discuss both opinion.

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The all
Remove the article
All
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people
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need
Add the particle
need to
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 do sport.
Use synonyms
People
Change noun form
People's
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Use synonyms
body
Replace the word
bodies
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 than older the
body
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change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
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 and do not use
a
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an
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 effective.
The
Correct article usage
People
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people
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 need to do regular
exercise
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 because ıf they
people
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 do
exercise
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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after years the
body
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do
Verb problem
will
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 not bad and they
people
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 use to effective
body
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. The
body
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want
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wants
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 to do
exercise
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 the
exercise
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not
Add a missing verb
is not
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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hard or need a
gym
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for example
Linking Words
walk
Wrong verb form
walking
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 or
run
Wrong verb form
running
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Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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exercise
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 and the
people
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 more than feel good.
The
Correct article usage
People
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people
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 only think ıf
I
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 go to
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gym
Add an article
the gym
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 I have a more
than
Correct word choice
apply
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muscle
body
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 and
this
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 is not good for me but If
the
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apply
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people
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 use
a
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an
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 effective and go to the
coach
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this
Linking Words
 is good for
people
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 because the
coach
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 only personal road for
people
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 and the
coach
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 know how muscle need
a
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an
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exercise
Use synonyms
 so the
gym
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 plan only personal. In my opinion,
firstly
Linking Words
, the
people
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 go
the
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to the
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coach
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 and the
people
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 ıf you
want
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want to
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 go to
membership
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the membership
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 for
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gym
Add an article
the gym
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 the
people
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 should be membership
for
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to
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gym
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 but
gym
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 not necessary ıf the
gym
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so
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is so
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 expensive the
people
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 prefer run to outside. If
the
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apply
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people
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 love
to
Change preposition
apply
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myself
Correct pronoun usage
me
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 you should
be do
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be doing
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 regular
exercise
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. I usually prefer walk to outside
for
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with
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 my friend because we do not understand and we go away for our
planing
Correct your spelling
planning
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and
Correct word choice
apply
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this
Linking Words
 is good for me because ı
reset
Correct subject-verb agreement
resets
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for
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apply
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my brain and
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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a lot of
thing
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things
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 reset so
this
Linking Words
 is really good for me.
Summary
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In summary
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, all
people
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 should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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do regular
exercise
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Correct word choice
so
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they feel better and
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
body
Use synonyms
 is better
good
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to have a clear introduction and conclusion. This helps the reader understand your viewpoint from the beginning and summarizes your arguments effectively at the end. Consider starting your essay with a brief introduction of the topic and your stance, and wrapping it up with a succinct conclusion that reinforces your opinion.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, try to keep a consistent flow of ideas throughout your essay. Use linking words and phrases to connect your sentences and paragraphs more clearly. This will help in presenting your argument in a more organized manner.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points are clearly stated and supported with relevant examples or explanations. This can strengthen your task response by making your argument more convincing and comprehensive. Consider including specific examples of how sporting events could inspire adults to exercise.
task achievement
Your essay recognizes the importance of regular exercise and ties this to the larger context of health maintenance, which is commendable.
task achievement
You included personal opinions and experiences, which adds depth to your argument and shows a personal engagement with the topic.
task response
The essay attempts to address the prompt's requirement to discuss both opinions regarding how sporting events might influence regular exercise habits.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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