It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore, physical education and sport should be compulsory for all students in all schools. What do you think?

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It is truly said that
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
is beneficial for
children
and teens.
That is
why, some individuals believe that physical
education
and
sports
should be mandatory for all
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
in all educational institutions. I think these
activities
are beneficial for
students
because
children
can know about their
health
, feel free from the
study
burden and
also
enhance their interest in
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
extra-curricular
activities
.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
and foremost benefit of having physical
education
and
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
in schools, aware individuals
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
know about their
health
and they can know easily which type of food negatively
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
them.
For instance
, 90% of
children
love to consume oily and
fast-food
Correct your spelling
fast food
show examples
but by getting adequate
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
about the effects of consuming it from
physical
Add an article
the physical
show examples
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
then
they will avoid it and take a turn towards healthier food.
Moreover
,
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
faces a lot of competition in class. To pass examinations and to get higher grades in class,
children
try to take
study
more seriously than anything else.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
one
study
reveals that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
those
children
who
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
actively
participated
Wrong verb form
participate
show examples
in
sports
, are more active and energetic
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
perfom
Correct your spelling
perform
any kind of task. So, engaging in extra-curricular
activities
at school not only helps to lessen their physical and mental fatigue but
also
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
their concentration level as well.
Furthermore
,
education
helps
students
to make their career
in
particular
Add an article
a particular
the particular
show examples
field. As we know, if
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
are taking interest in different
sports
from
their
Change the word
an
show examples
early age
then
they will make their successful career for sure.
In addition
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
related to
health
develop
Change the verb form
develops
show examples
interpersonal skills among
students
where they can learn how to communicate with others,
develop
Correct word choice
and develop
show examples
co-operation
Correct your spelling
cooperation
show examples
,
team-work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
and problem-solving skills when they
are socially interact
Change the verb form
are socially interacting
show examples
with others.
To sum up
, some believe that
sports
and
health
education
should be mandatory in schools for
students
. I
also
believe that these
activities
prove
boon
Correct article usage
a boon
show examples
for them as they can learn about their
health
, take less burden of
study
material and be more focused by increasing their interest in
activities
.
Submitted by kaurjagdeep2097 on

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task achievement
While the essay provides a generally comprehensive response to the task by discussing several benefits of mandatory physical education, try to address potential counterarguments or limitations to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Though the main points are logical and well-supported in the essay, ensure that you develop clearer and more detailed ideas, possibly by elaborating on each benefit or including further examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve the clarity of sentence structures and vary them to enhance the overall readability of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words more frequently to ensure smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response addressing the main points about why physical education and sport should be mandatory in schools.
task achievement
Examples are used appropriately to illustrate key arguments, such as the impact of education on health awareness and career opportunities.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets up the discussion by presenting a clear thesis statement, and the conclusion summarizes the main points well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical health
  • mental health
  • compulsory
  • instill
  • regular exercise
  • participation
  • teamwork
  • discipline
  • resilience
  • academic studies
  • concentration
  • focus
  • childhood obesity
  • motor skills
  • coordination
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