In the futures, robots will do more and more jobs instead of human. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge. Write at least 250 words.

It is undeniable the advance of technology is growing rapidly. It is predicted that a lot of human
jobs
will be done by
robots
in the future.
Although
this
development presents some threats, I believe that the advantages associated with it are far greater.
Robots
can make our daily lives more convenient and efficient. Today, we have seen and experienced how
robots
make our daily tasks easier and faster.
For example
, a cleaning machine
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has its own sensor to detect dirty areas and vacuum the floor by itself.
Robots
also
are suitable in dangerous working areas and can save
people
working with explosives,
chemicals
Correct word choice
and chemicals
show examples
as well as
lifting heavy objects without risking the safety and health of
people
. Despite these significant advantages,
this
development will be far from painless. First of all, with the majority of work that will be carried out by
robots
,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
are left with fewer
jobs
available. The government should prepare more programs to train
people
that can support economic growth
along with
the advancement of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology. Another downside is that interaction will be less between humans as
robot
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robots
show examples
will likely replace
jobs
such
as customer services and marketing.
This
will result in
people
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
lonelier than ever. In short,
robots
are likely to bring certain risks that
people
will have to deal with
it
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apply
show examples
.
To conclude
,
robots
have
a
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the
show examples
potential to make human lives more
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
and efficient,
as well as
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
people
from dangerous
jobs
.
This
is why I believe that having
robots
carry out most of
human’s
Add an article
the human’s
show examples
job is more advantageous compared to the potential drawbacks.
However
, to enjoy the benefits of it,
people
have to learn new skills and adapt.
Submitted by kkomariyah92 on

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Task Achievement
To further improve, ensure that your arguments are balanced and well-developed. While you mentioned both advantages and disadvantages of robots taking over jobs, it would strengthen your essay to elaborate on potential strategies to mitigate job loss and social isolation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by explicitly connecting ideas more clearly. For example, explain why the positives of convenience and safety outweigh the negatives of job loss and reduced social interaction.
Task Achievement
The essay displays a clear understanding of the topic and offers relevant examples, such as cleaning machines and dangerous work areas, to support the arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, presenting a clear position that is maintained throughout the response.
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