IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is common for young people to have different attitudes and ideas than those of their parents and grandparents. In your society, how do these attitudes and ideas differ between the generations? In your view, do these differences lead to any problems? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Gap
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generation
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 and various different ideas
has
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have
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 a vital topic of debate.
While
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 these kinds of differences lead to different
atitudes
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attitudes
altitudes
 among
individuals
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,
it
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they
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 can significantly cause important challenges between the
generations
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. I strongly believe that these differences can lead to harmful consequences, which will be discussed
by
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for
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 compelling reasons. First of all, in
todays'
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today's
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 advanced world, many
individuals
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, particularly the younger
generations
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 are likely to
engagge
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engage
 in
differenet
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different
 activities compared to their
parents
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 and grandparents.
Therefore
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, it is crucial for both societies and
individuals
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 to get familiar with these differences.
For instance
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, consider a young boy who spends
execcive
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excessive
executive
 daily hours
to
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apply
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playing online computer games,
While
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 their
parents
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significantly
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are significantly
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 used to
play
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playing
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 physical activities
such
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 as playing basketball or football.
Moreover
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, a significant number of both
parents
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 and
granparents
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grandparents
 are interested in social
ateraction
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attraction
interaction
, which the younger
generations
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 frequently find
it
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apply
show examples
totally boring in
communications
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communication
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.
On the other hand
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,
although
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 the advantages of the
gap
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generation
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 should not be overlooked, there are various drawbacks too.
Thus
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,
gap
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generation
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 is of paramount importance to sustainable societies. A prime illustration of
this
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 is
a
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apply
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public health, which is so crucial for communication. So, if members of
family
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the family
a family
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 could not live longer together
due to
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 different
atitutes
Correct your spelling
attitudes
altitudes
, it will result in detrimental effects
such
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 as the increase in youth offender rates.
Additionally
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, the different
atitute
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attitudes
 and ideas between
generations
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 not only can decrease
overall
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well- being
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well-being
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 but
also
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 can lead to a deep sense of isolation and depression, especially among
parents
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, who usually struggle to change their children's ideas. In conclusion, there are various opinions about the challenges of
gap
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generation
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.
Although
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 these kinds of
differenes
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differences
 are
likety
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likely
 to increase the challenges among families, I firmly advocate the
gap
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generation
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 can contribute to negative consequences for both societies and
individuals
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such
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 as increasing the
youth
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number of youth
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 offenders.

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task achievement
To enhance the richness of your essay, try to include specific examples that illustrate the generational differences. This will make your arguments more convincing and relatable.
task achievement
Some ideas could be clearer and more comprehensively developed. Consider breaking down complex arguments into concise, yet comprehensive points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all main points are directly related to the task question. Consider revisiting your essay to ensure that every paragraph directly addresses the question.
coherence cohesion
You have a well-structured introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay nicely.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of ideas is maintained, helping readers to follow your arguments effectively.
task achievement
You've addressed both sides of the argument, considering generational differences and their consequences.
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