In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Refusing individuals who seek jobs
due to
Linking Words
their age,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is not allowed in some countries. I think the drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
trend outweigh the benefits. On the one hand, old employees play a vital role in an organization’s development because of their experiences. They can do tasks faster with low risk or bias. Recruiting young people solely could be better in the short term
due to
Linking Words
their speed in attaining
company’s
Correct article usage
the company’s
show examples
goals and their physical fitness, so their absence will be less in comparison to old people. But in the long term, the number of mistakes will be more
due to
Linking Words
their way of dealing with problems.
For example
Linking Words
, some businesses are willing to recruit employees with experience in order to make them supervisors or heads of departments.
Moreover
Linking Words
, to be in a leading position in some enterprises, it is requiring
long-term
Correct article usage
a long-term
show examples
professional journey.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, restricting work for
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
only has a negative financial disadvantage because some families do not have sponsors or do not have offspring. So
this
Linking Words
will end with many issues. It will affect both
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
and these individuals. One of its side effects is they will not afford their medicine price,
therefore
Linking Words
the government will pay for them, and it will be an extra load that may return back by problems in
country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
show examples
economy.
To conclude
Linking Words
, some authorities believe that banning old-aged to
apply
Wrong verb form
applying
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for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
is illegal.
This
Linking Words
notion has more dark sides than bright sides. The presence of high-experience employees will add more to organizations.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they are wiser than young individuals, so they can overcome troubles efficiently and in
short
Add an article
a short
show examples
time. Some firms do not allow them to participate in jobs, which may worsen their financial status and increase
country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
show examples
expense on these
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
of the community.
Submitted by afnan.sa1992 on

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logical structure
You should strengthen the logical flow of your essay by clearly organizing your ideas and ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly and logically into the next. Consider using linking words to improve cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
Make sure to include a clear conclusion that encapsulates your main arguments. This helps in reinforcing your stance and provides a satisfying end to your essay.
relevant specific examples
Try to develop your main points more thoroughly by including more specific examples. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
complete response
Your response generally covers the task adequately. You address both sides of the argument, which satisfies the requirements of the task.
clear comprehensive ideas
You've made good use of compare-contrast to highlight your points regarding both younger and older workers. This adds depth to your reasoning.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • age diversity
  • combat age discrimination
  • job opportunities
  • experienced individuals
  • vast knowledge
  • suboptimal hiring decisions
  • legal compliance
  • reverse discrimination
  • operational costs
  • health insurance
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