Some people believe more actions can be taken to prevent crime, while others think that little can be done. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #actions #crime

There are numerous opinions in the world regarding crime

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and actions that can be taken to prevent them.

However

, views were separated

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into

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two groups, those who think society and government are able to influence

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offenses

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offences

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and those who think oppositely. In

this

writing, we will overview both opinions. To begin with, it is evident that authorities have a huge power over citizens, and involving new programs in purpose to

effect

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affect

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offenders' minds, and escape new

crimes

, would be one of the most powerful ways to decrease amount of violations.

Moreover

, involving new laws can assist to behavior of the country's society.

For instance

, countries

such

as Turkey or Switzerland, where

crimes

even over animals are being punished cruelly, are being called

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one of the safest countries to live in.

On the other hand

, it is impossible to fully understand the human mind, which is why in countries, where the laws towards offenders are strong, the cruelness of unit

offenses

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offences

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can be unbelievably high.

Thus

, it all depends on people and their own troubles. At the same time, the

overall

well-being of citizens can directly affect the percentage of

crimes

in the country, so the

behavior

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behaviour

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, traditions, and bans of every environment can influence the number of delinquencies.

Therefore

, in South Korea, where the general mentalities of citizens are strong, delinquencies are usually highly cruel. In conclusion, even if it is hard to influence humanity's minds, in my opinion, it is possible for the government to reduce

crimes

in the country using the power of law and rights, and

effect

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affect

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people's understanding of

offenses

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offences

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, and their well-being.

Submitted by moon2014angel on Mon Nov 25 2024

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task achievement

To enhance task response, aim to provide more balanced examples supporting each perspective. Currently, examples are given more extensively when discussing strong laws, while the opposite view is less supported by concrete details. Consider explaining why some believe crime prevention is difficult despite regulations.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, work on ensuring that main points are consistently supported with relevant details and examples. This will make your argumentation stronger and more convincing. Bridging sentences between points can also improve the flow and ensure clarity for the reader.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear context and summarizing the argument effectively.

task achievement

The essay responds completely to the task, considering both perspectives and providing an opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe more actions can be taken to prevent crime, while others think that little can be done. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?

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Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?