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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below give information about travel to and from France, as well as the most popular countries for French citizens to visit in 2000.

The charts below give information about travel to and from France, as well as the most popular countries for French citizens to visit in 2000.
The given line graph demonstrates data on how many people
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
UK
Use synonyms
 visited abroad, and how many overseas residents visited
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
UK
Use synonyms
 between 1979 and 1999,
while
Linking Words
 the bar graph
depends
Verb problem
shows
show examples
 data about how many people visited
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
UK
Use synonyms
 from 5 countries in 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that figure of people who visited
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
UK
Use synonyms
 increased significantly from 1979 to 1999, but
Use synonyms
statistics
Correct article usage
the statistics
show examples
 of residents
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
overseas
come
Wrong verb form
coming
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
UK
Use synonyms
, experienced
Correct article usage
a slightly
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slightly rose
Replace the word
slight rise
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,
as well as
Linking Words
 figure of tourists
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 France was dominant in 1999, but
this
Linking Words
 trend in Turkey considerable less than one. As regards
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of tourists who visited the
UK
Use synonyms
 gradually increased from 13 to 20 between 1979 and 1984;
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend experienced
Correct article usage
a sharply
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sharply rose
Replace the word
sharp rise
show examples
 in the next 11 years.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
statistics
Use synonyms
 of overseas inhabitants who came
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 between 1979 and 1984, remained unchanged at 10 but rapidly rose from 10 to 25 in the next decade. When it comes to
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of residents of France who visited the
UK
Use synonyms
 was dominant at 12 in the 1999 years.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
statistics
Use synonyms
 of the Spain in the next list of the topic at 8 in the year.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend in Turkey hit
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 lowest point at 3 in 1999.
Besides
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
statistics
Correct article usage
the statistics
show examples
 of Greece and the USA
nearly
Add a missing verb
are nearly
show examples
 the same .

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, statistics with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • International travel
  • Economic development
  • Globalization
  • Cross-cultural exchanges
  • Tourist attractions
  • Cultural affinity
  • Historical links
  • Geographical trends
  • Proximity factors
  • Regional preferences
  • Promotional campaigns
  • Seasonal travel patterns
  • Preference
  • Beach holiday
  • Cultural holiday
  • Adventure holiday
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