IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that youngsters should be required to have full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. What extent do you agree or disagree ?

There are people
argue
Correct pronoun usage
who argue
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 that
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation must have
full-time
Correct article usage
a full-time
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education
Use synonyms
 at least until they reach 18 years old. I could not agree more
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement because
education
Use synonyms
 is really important to increase the quality of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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itself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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and people who are educated can be an asset
of
Change preposition
to
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 a nation.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the students that have a
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
 standard will have critical and strategic thinking. At school, they will be taught how to respect others,
well-behaved
Add a missing verb
be well-behaved
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 to their colleagues, and obviously sharpen their academic ability.
As a result
Linking Words
, when they are facing problems, they know how to solve
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 by using their logic.
For example
Linking Words
, I am a college student
while
Linking Words
 my friend
only
Add a missing verb
is only
show examples
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 school
graduates
Fix the agreement mistake
graduate
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, when we were talking about an issue, certainly my point of view and hers were really different. I am more comprehensive
whereas
Linking Words
 she is not.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, one of
crucial
Add an article
the crucial
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 things that make one
country
Use synonyms
can be
Verb problem
apply
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advanced is the
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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. When there are a lot of university graduates in a particular
country
Use synonyms
, it will
affects
Change the verb form
affect
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 how they manage their
country
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 for the next generation.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the nation can improve in many aspects, like
education
Use synonyms
, renewable energy, mass transportation, and many else.
For instance
Linking Words
, Singapore is the only
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
advanced
country
Use synonyms
 in
Southeast
Correct article usage
the Southeast
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 Asia region because the government focused on
refine
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refining
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 the
education
Use synonyms
 quality. So, the
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 are interested
to
Change the preposition
in
show examples
 school.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the youngsters should be encouraged to pursue higher
education
Use synonyms
. It is totally
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for increasing the capacity
as
Change preposition
of
show examples
 humans.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the nation can gain
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 from their citizen as an important asset.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Some points felt slightly mixed, affecting the logical flow. For example, the importance of education and its national impact could be structured more distinctly.
task achievement
Strengthen your arguments with more detailed examples and explanations. Mentioning specific policies or studies related to education's impact could enhance your points.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument and bringing closure to your points.
task achievement
Your essay provides a reasonable response to the task, with a clear position stated and developed through the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory education
  • essential skills
  • illiteracy
  • job market
  • career paths
  • opportunities
  • job satisfaction
  • social skills
  • critical thinking
  • teamwork
  • vocational training
  • apprenticeship programs
  • individual differences
  • alternative learning environments
  • real-world work experience
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