Some people believe that youngsters should be required to have full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. What extent do you agree or disagree ?
There are people
argue
that Correct pronoun usage
who argue
young
generation must have Correct article usage
the young
full-time
Correct article usage
a full-time
education
at least until they reach 18 years old. I could not agree more to
Change preposition
with
this
statement because education
is really important to increase the quality of human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
itself
and people who are educated can be an asset Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
a nation.
Change preposition
to
Firstly
, the students that have a high quality
standard will have critical and strategic thinking. At school, they will be taught how to respect others, Add a hyphen
high-quality
well-behaved
to their colleagues, and obviously sharpen their academic ability. Add a missing verb
be well-behaved
As a result
, when they are facing problems, they know how to solve it
by using their logic. Correct pronoun usage
them
For example
, I am a college student while
my friend only
Add a missing verb
is only
high
school Correct article usage
a high
graduates
, when we were talking about an issue, certainly my point of view and hers were really different. I am more comprehensive Fix the agreement mistake
graduate
whereas
she is not.
Furthermore
, one of crucial
things that make one Add an article
the crucial
country
can be
advanced is the Verb problem
apply
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
itself
. When there are a lot of university graduates in a particular Correct pronoun usage
themselves
country
, it will affects
how they manage their Change the verb form
affect
country
for the next generation. Therefore
, the nation can improve in many aspects, like education
, renewable energy, mass transportation, and many else. For instance
, Singapore is the only one
advanced Correct pronoun usage
apply
country
in Southeast
Asia region because the government focused on Correct article usage
the Southeast
refine
the Change the verb form
refining
education
quality. So, the citizen
are interested Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
to
school.
Change the preposition
in
To conclude
, the youngsters should be encouraged to pursue higher education
. It is totally benefical
for increasing the capacity Correct your spelling
beneficial
as
humans. Change preposition
of
Moreover
, the nation can gain benefit
from their citizen as an important asset.Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Some points felt slightly mixed, affecting the logical flow. For example, the importance of education and its national impact could be structured more distinctly.
task achievement
Strengthen your arguments with more detailed examples and explanations. Mentioning specific policies or studies related to education's impact could enhance your points.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument and bringing closure to your points.
task achievement
Your essay provides a reasonable response to the task, with a clear position stated and developed through the essay.