IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The rise of convenience food has helped people keep up with the speed of the modern life style. What are the advantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays the consumption of
convenience
Use synonyms
foods
Use synonyms
 has increased because of being in modern society.
Although
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 there are some drawbacks, the benefits exceed them.
Firstly
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, in modern
society
Add a comma
society,
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people
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 tend to consume
convenience
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food
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 more than home-made meals because they need to keep up with the speed of
new
Add an article
the new
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 world. In
industrialized
Add an article
the industrialized
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 world,
people
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 have to be
in
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particular
Add an article
a particular
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 place on time when they are needed.
That is
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 the reason that they choose
grabbing
Change the verb form
to grab
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coffee
Add an article
a coffee
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 from the cafe or
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 fast
food
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instead
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 of eating properly.
For example
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, in my country
citizens
Add a comma
citizens,
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 every morning face
huge
Add an article
a huge
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bottleneck
Fix the agreement mistake
bottlenecks
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 in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 of cities
that
Correct word choice
so
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 they choose to leave their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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 early and
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
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 in the car a quick snack.
Hence
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,
convenience
Use synonyms
foods
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saves
Change the verb form
save
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 their day.
Secondly
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, making
home-made
Correct your spelling
homemade
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foods
Use synonyms
 demands plenty amount of time and effort. Cooking
food
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 at home might be
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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 of time
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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they may do another essential pursuit
instead
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 of it. There are several meals that need at least half an hour to be ready to eat.
On the other hand
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, consuming
this
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 kind of
food
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 could be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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 our health because they are lack of ingredients that prominent for
people
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’s health.
Foods
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,
such
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 as hamburgers, hotdogs, and packed
foods
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are
Verb problem
apply
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included
Wrong verb form
include
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 compounds that keep
people
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 full all day.
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Also
Add a comma
Also,
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this
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 sort of
compounds
Fix the agreement mistake
compound
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 damages
people
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’s
well-beings
Correct your spelling
well-being
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.
For instance
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, the ingredients in any fast
food
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 have
highly
Change the word
high
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 fat
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
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 which
leads
Change the verb form
lead
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obesity
Change preposition
to obesity
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. In conclusion,
people
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 who eat
convenience
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food
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 are increasing because they need to keep up with modern society. And
this
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 phenomenon
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more advantages than disadvantages.

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language
Improve grammatical accuracy. Some small errors are present, such as "convenience foods saves their day," which should be "save their day."
conclusion
Further develop the conclusion by summarizing key points from the main paragraphs. This will reinforce your argument and provide a clear summary of your stance.
content
Consider expanding on the disadvantages of convenience food. While it's mentioned that they can be harmful, more detail could make the argument stronger.
content
The writer clearly identifies both advantages and disadvantages of eating convenience food, providing a balanced perspective.
structure
Ideas are presented logically, moving from the introduction to the points with supporting examples, and then to a conclusion.
examples
Use of relevant examples, such as the bottleneck traffic example, effectively illustrates the points made.
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