IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the population size, birth rate and the death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the population size, birth rate and the death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #population #size #birth #rate #death #england #wales #summaries #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart depicts the total
population
Use synonyms
,
birth
Use synonyms
 and dead of rating in England and Wales from the period of time from 1700 to 2000. At first glance, after 1800, the
population
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 rose dramatically,
while
Linking Words
 the
dead
Replace the word
death
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rate
Use synonyms
 dropped gradually. From 1700 to 1800, both
Use synonyms
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
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rate
Use synonyms
 and death
rate
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 were relatively high, resulting in the
pepulation
Correct your spelling
population
 size
increase
Replace the word
increasing
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 gradually over decades. In the period from
19th
Correct article usage
the 19th
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century
Use synonyms
 to mid of
20th
Correct word choice
mid-20th
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century
Use synonyms
, the figures for
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 soared, and the death
rate
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 fell dow observed, thanks to the coincidences with
onset
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the onset
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 of
Industrial
Correct article usage
the Industrial
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 Revolution and
improvement
Correct article usage
the improvement
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 of health care. In
early
Correct article usage
the early
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19
Correct your spelling
19th
century
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, the
birth
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rate
Use synonyms
 witnessed a sharp
grow up
Correct your spelling
growth
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,
contribute
Wrong verb form
contributing
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a
Change preposition
to a
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significant rise in
population
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 but began to decrease
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
Use synonyms
century
Add an article
the century
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.
By contrast
Linking Words
, in first half of
20
Correct your spelling
the 20th
century
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 saw a
further
Linking Words
 decline in both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
death and
birth
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
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 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 notable dip during
Correct article usage
the wartme
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wartme
Correct your spelling
wartime
warmer
 periods.
Finally
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
last
Linking Words
 of
20th
Correct article usage
the 20th
show examples
century
Use synonyms
, the
birth
Use synonyms
 and
dearth
Correct your spelling
death
show examples
Use synonyms
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
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were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
widened, leading to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
substantial growth in
number
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
population
Use synonyms
Submitted by kyobi46455 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, birth, rate, century with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic changes
  • population growth
  • birth rate
  • death rate
  • gradual increase
  • notable decline
  • Industrial Revolution
  • public health improvements
  • significant rise
  • wartime periods
  • substantial growth
  • natural decrease in mortality
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