IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart shows average monthly student expenditure in the UK in 2016. The bar chart shows sources of student income in the same year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart shows average monthly student expenditure in the UK in 2016. The bar chart shows sources of student income in the same year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie chart provided depicts the amount of money spent monthly by UK students during the year 2016. The bar chart below describes the different ways to earn money by these students within the same year. On the whole, rent, as opposed to
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling

The spelling of traveling is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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, happened to occupy the highest student expenditure. The most repeated source of income was through student loans, followed closely by family. Grants and funding
showed
Wrong verb form
were shown

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb showed. Consider changing it.

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 to be the least way to acquire money. The biggest proportion of the expenditure went to rent, which accounted
365€
Change preposition
for 365€

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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.
Conversely
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, travel saw the least expenditure with 52€,
whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 bills, socialising and food expenses described 69€, 64€ and 124€, respectively. The sources of income were varied. Student loans figured 82% of students
which
Correct pronoun usage
who

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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 used
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 option,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 family and part-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs

It seems that job may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 accounted
Change preposition
for aproximately

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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aproximately
Correct your spelling
approximately

If you don’t want aproximately to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

the same proportion, with over 75% and 70%, respectively. Savings and bank
overdraft
Fix the agreement mistake
overdrafts

It seems that overdraft may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 reported similar numbers, describing about 40% and 38%, respectively. Grants and funding experienced
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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fewer
election
Fix the agreement mistake
elections

It seems that election may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 of over 35%.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "describes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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