IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows electricity production in terawatt hours in France between 1980 and 2012.

The graph below shows electricity production in terawatt hours in France between 1980 and 2012.
#electricity #production #terawatt #hours #france
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The line graph provides data on how much
electricity
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 was produced in terawatt hours in France in the years 1980 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
renewables
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 rose moderately and nuclear experienced an upward trend, hydroelectric and thermal showed a slow drop over a
period
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. Of particular note, all types of
electricity
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 production except
renewables
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 saw fluctuations. In the beginning, thermal and hydroelectric stood at around 120 and 70, respectively. In 1985,
while
Linking Words
 thermal declined to 50
TW-h
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, reaching almost 50
TW-h
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 in the next year, hydroelectric, which was just over 50
TW-h
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, dropped to just over 50
TW-h
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 in 1990. Meantime, after a 5-year
period
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, thermal experienced a small fall by around 30 terawatt-hours and hydroelectric ones rose minimally by roughly 75
TW-h
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.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 thermal
electricity
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 showed a slow increase to nearly 50
TW-h
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, hydroelectric remained the same production as in 1995, decreasing gradually by 50
TW-h
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 in 2005.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
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, both of them fluctuated and reached about 60 and 50
TW-h
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, respectively.
In addition
Linking Words
, in 1990, nuclear
electricity
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 accounted for around 60
TW-h
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 and
renewables
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 were at
TW-h
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, remaining at the same rate until 2000. Nuclear rose significantly to roughly 220
TW-h
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 in 1985 and after a 5-year
period
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, continued to grow by 300
TW-h
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.
Also
Linking Words
, it showed a rapid growth to nearly 400 in 2000 and around 440 in 2005, respectively. Meanwhile,
although
Linking Words
 nuclear, which increased over a
period
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, saw a slight drop to just over 400
TW-h
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,
renewables
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 rose to about 10
TW-h
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 in 2005, ended with a moderate rise to roughly 30
TW-h
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
.
Submitted by Writing9 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, at the end, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, renewables, period, tw-h with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slow" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moderately" was used 2 times.
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