It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture. We can learn as much as from books, films, and the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Undoubtedly, with the rapid development of tourism in our society, learning
different
Change preposition
about different
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
from
Change preposition
by
traveling
to different countries has become increasingly significant. Change the spelling
travelling
While
some people
believe that exploring knowledge by internet-browsing as
time-consuming, others think it Correct your spelling
internet browsing is
something
unpractical. From my perspective, I am in Add a missing verb
is something
favor
of the latter, and the reasons will be elaborated on as follows.
On the one hand, it is noticeable that not everyone Change the spelling
favour
have
time for Change the verb form
has
travel
. That is
, many people
have their own live schedule, such
as work or study, which is not easy to get a period of
day off for Change preposition
apply
holiday
. Correct article usage
a holiday
For example
, Take Taiwan as an example, students who is
study Unnecessary verb
apply
in
Change preposition
at
secondary
level need to go to school five days a week. On the weekends, they have various classes need to attend, Correct article usage
the secondary
such
as piano, soccer, English and so on. They might find it hard to get the
approval Correct article usage
apply
by
Change preposition
from
school
or teacher. Correct article usage
the school
Furthermore
, people
who are lake of physical mobility may be
difficult to Verb problem
find it
travel
around. This
is to say, they need extra support when they travel
to other place
. Change the wording
another place
other places
For instance
, older people
need to do body
examination and get Correct article usage
a body
doctor’s
approval to Correct article usage
a doctor’s
taking
Wrong verb form
take
airplane
.
Add an article
an airplane
On the other hand
, even though there is
some conditions that Change the verb form
are
people
can not travel
around, most people
still desire to experiencing
Change the verb form
experience
now
countries. Correct your spelling
new
Firstly
, learning traditional foods from the internet can not be the same flavor
as Change the spelling
flavour
local
Add an article
a local
restaurant
. Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
This
is to say, even though the procedure and recipe are same
Correct article usage
the same
with
Change preposition
as in
online
video, the local restaurants have their own traditional taste, which can not be imitated. Correct article usage
the online
Secondly
, it is knowledgeable that some special activities can only Add a missing verb
be experiences
experiences
by visiting in person. Replace the word
experienced
That is
, winter sport, skiing, only can do
in a few countries with snow. Wrong verb form
be done
For example
, according to
a statistic conducted by National
Taiwan Tourism Correct article usage
the National
department
from 2020 to 2024, over 40 Capitalize word
Department
percent
of Taiwanese go to Japan in December to participate skiing tour.
In conclusion, based on the aforementioned reasons, I firmly agree that traveling can help Change the spelling
per cent
people
broaden their knowledge and deeper
their local culture and tradition.Replace the word
deepen
Submitted by el3vul4
on
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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your essay in a manner that the ideas flow more logically from one to another. Use clear signposting language to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the question clearly.
task achievement
Work on expressing your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Consider restructuring sentences to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate your main ideas and personal stance on the topic.
task achievement
The inclusion of specific examples, such as those from Taiwan and Japan, enriches your argument and provides concrete support.