It has become very common for people to borrow money. Most people havea credit card, a mortagage and often they will buy a car on credit as well. Is this a good idea or is it too risky? Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that living
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs

It seems that cost may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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was
Verb problem
have

There may be a verb use issue here.

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increased recently.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it is a commonly held belief that borrowing money became a must to afford
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

high cost, there is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

an argument that the majority of people have
a credit cards
Correct the article-noun agreement
a credit card
credit cards

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun cards in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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,
Correct word choice
and mortagage

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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mortagage
Correct your spelling
mortgage
mortgages

If you don’t want mortagage to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to buy a car.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will analyze
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this topics
Change the determiner
this topic
these topics

It appears that the singular demonstrative this is modifying the plural noun topics. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

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from both points of view and express my opinion.

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coherence cohesion
Consider developing your introduction further by outlining the key points you'll discuss. This helps set the stage for a clear analysis.
task achievement
Ensure your essay addresses both views – the idea that borrowing is necessary and that it may be too risky. Make sure each viewpoint is balanced with examples.
task achievement
Provide examples or statistics to back up your points about borrowing being essential or risky, as this strengthens the relevance of your discussion.
introduction
The introduction effectively introduces the topic of borrowing money in today's economy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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