The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Science
Use synonyms
technology
Correct word choice
and technology
has been
improved people’s lives in many aspects including medical Wrong verb form
have
advancement
, Use synonyms
development
of Correct article usage
the development
space
industry and alternative food supply. Some people believe that the aim of Correct article usage
the space
science
should be Use synonyms
improvement
of human Add an article
the improvement
an improvement
advancement
, Use synonyms
however
, I disagree with Linking Words
this
statement.
It is true that Linking Words
science
has been playing a crucial role for human beings. The most significant contribution to our people’s Use synonyms
live
is medical Replace the word
lives
advancement
. Within 100 years, more than 20 years of life expectancy has improved in Japan. Use synonyms
Moreover
, exploring outer space could bring the availability of Linking Words
human’s
living there in the future. Change noun form
humans
According to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
science
research, it is expected that people Use synonyms
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
keep staying
in the Wrong verb form
stay
earth
near future, Change noun form
earth's
therefore
, finding Linking Words
the
alternative ways can be a solution for Correct article usage
apply
next
generations.
Correct article usage
the next
However
, Linking Words
science
knowledge and technology should not Use synonyms
utilize
for Wrong verb form
be utilised
Correct article usage
the human’s
human’s
ego. Change noun form
human
Science
Use synonyms
researcher
should consider not only people’s livesFix the agreement mistake
researchers
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the nature
nature
world Replace the word
natural
such
as animals and plants. Linking Words
For example
, the Linking Words
amount
of waste Change the quantifier
number
cases
Correct your spelling
causes
the
environmental pollution in Correct article usage
apply
air
, soil and water so that the disease for Correct article usage
the air
creature
has been wide spreading. Add an article
the creature
Furthermore
, the number of plants Linking Words
are
decreasing Correct subject-verb agreement
is
due to
Linking Words
expansion
of living Correct article usage
the expansion
area
for humans. People-centred Fix the agreement mistake
areas
advancement
of Use synonyms
science
will cause imbalance for living Use synonyms
creature
in Fix the agreement mistake
creatures
this
world.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that the purpose Linking Words
for
Change preposition
of
Use synonyms
advancement
of Add an article
the advancement
science
is required for Use synonyms
improving
living creatures as a whole. Considering Wrong verb form
improve
for
animals and plants is crucial to Change preposition
apply
create
Wrong verb form
creating
the
future for all.Correct article usage
a
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task achievement
Ensure that all arguments are fully developed with clear supporting evidence and examples, especially in relation to science's potential to balance human needs and environmental impact.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each main point is linked with clear transitions to enhance the essay’s natural flow.
general writing
Pay attention to some grammatical errors and inaccuracies that may obscure meaning, such as "has been improved" instead of "has improved".
introduction
Your introduction clearly sets out your stance on the topic, providing an engaging start to your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You've thoughtfully included examples, such as medical advancements and space exploration, to support your argument.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.