IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#aim #science #people’s #lives
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Science
Use synonyms
 and technology have improved people’s lives in many aspects including medical
advancement
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, the development of the space industry and alternative food supply. Some people believe that the aim of
science
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 should be the improvement of human
advancement
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,
however
Linking Words
, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. It is true that
science
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 has been playing a crucial role for human beings. The most significant contribution to our people’s lives is medical
advancement
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. Within 100 years, more than 20 years of life expectancy has improved in Japan.
Moreover
Linking Words
, exploring outer space could bring the availability of humans living there in the future.
According to
Linking Words
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
science
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 research, it is expected that people cannot stay in the earth's near future,
therefore
Linking Words
, finding alternative ways can be a solution for the next generations.
However
Linking Words
,
science
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 knowledge and technology should not be utilised for
human
Add an article
the human
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 ego.
Science
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 researchers should consider not only people’s lives but
also
Linking Words
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
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 world
such
Linking Words
 as animals and plants.
For example
Linking Words
, the number of waste causes environmental pollution in the air, soil and water so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the disease for the creature has been
wide spreading
Replace the word
widespread
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the number of plants is decreasing
due to
Linking Words
 the expansion of living areas for humans. People-centred
advancement
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 of
science
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 will cause
imbalance
Correct article usage
an imbalance
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 for living creatures in
this
Linking Words
 world. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the purpose of the
advancement
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 of
science
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 is required
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 improve living creatures as a whole. Considering animals and plants is crucial to creating a future for all.
Submitted by hojoeri on

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task achievement
Ensure all ideas are fully elaborated and link directly to your main argument. For example, further explaining how the decrease in plant numbers might specifically affect humans would improve the argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on connecting sentences smoothly using linking words or cohesive devices, like 'moreover', 'in addition', or 'consequently'. This would help to further improve the logical flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and are clear, succinctly summarizing the main points of the essay.
task achievement
The essay proposes a contrasting viewpoint on the potential negatives of human-centered scientific advancement, which enriches the argumentative perspective.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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