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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many students are choosing to study online instead of face - to - face education. what is the advantages and disadvantages.

#education #students #study #face
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Nowadays, online education
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 become popular. Many pupils
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 to study online
instead
 of studying in
Add an article
the class
a class
show examples
class room
Correct your spelling
classroom
show examples
. There are advantages and disadvantages
also
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will give you my opinion about
this
 statement. Nowadays, online education
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 become popular.
And people
Correct word choice
People
show examples
 are choosing to study online
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
studying
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in
classroom
Correct article usage
a classroom
show examples
 because
that is
 better for them.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 You are studying online you can work and communicate with your friends.
And there
Correct word choice
There
show examples
 are a
lot
 of useful things you can do
while
 you
in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
 the online class.
However
,
There
Fix capitalization
there
show examples
 are many advantages and disadvantages. There are a
lot
 of advantages to studying online
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 you can do a
lot
 of things
while
 studying
also
 you can communicate with your
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 and help others in the
leasson
Correct your spelling
lesson
. And you can go to the restroom when you want.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
 the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 there are a
lot
 of disadvantages
such
 as, the pupils will not focus on the lesson,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 will be hard for the teacher to give the
leasson
Correct your spelling
lesson
 and ask questions. And students can cheat in online exams.
Last
 but not least, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
show examples
 I think that the online education is better for the people because they can do a
lot
 of things
while
 studying. But when you study in
classroom
Add an article
the classroom
a classroom
show examples
 you can do
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
 and
in some time
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
 the teacher doesn't let you
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
go to the restroom.
also
 you can eat in the
class room
Correct your spelling
classroom
show examples
.
Submitted by superalialhaddad on

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coherence cohesion
Develop a clearer and more organized essay structure. Start with a strong thesis statement, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on a single point.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your points, such as examples of specific online platforms or study strategies.
coherence cohesion
Refine sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity, such as correcting subject-verb agreement (e.g., "online education has become popular" instead of "have become popular").
task achievement
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of online education, fulfilling the task requirement.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents an introduction and conclusion, providing a sense of completion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Remote learning
  • Virtual classroom
  • Distance education
  • E-learning platforms
  • Synchronous vs asynchronous learning
  • Self-paced study
  • Blended learning
  • Digital divide
  • Time management skills
  • Interactive tools and resources
  • Accreditation and recognition
  • Student engagement
  • Motivation and discipline
  • Technical requirements
  • Cost savings
  • Social interaction
  • Connectivity issues
  • Practical experience
  • Networking opportunities
  • Individualized learning paths
What to do next:
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