IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it /ooks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where re/evant.

#plans #show #harbour #ooks #summarise #information #features #comparisons #re #evant
The first image displays a harbour in the year 2000
while
 the second image displays that same place 24 years later.
Overall
, it is noticeable that,
while
 the changes are not dramatic, there are still many improvements that have been built in that location.
Furthermore
, it has
gone
Verb problem
become
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 more
residencial
Correct your spelling
residential
 since
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 hotel
has been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 created. Indeed, some changes have allowed the site to become better. A second dock has been constructed next to the one that was already present in the year 2000.
Moreover
, the Marina and the space for fishing boats have been switched and showers and toilets have been added next to the fishing boats parking site.
Also
, the disused castle in the south-east of the area has been transformed into a hotel, and the public beach in the south of the harbour has become private for the latter. What’s more, cafes and shops have been built next to the road leading to the hotel.
Submitted by santos_dij on

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task achievement
Ensure that all main features of the diagrams are discussed in detail to showcase a comprehensive understanding of the changes.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a variety of linking words and cohesive devices to make the text flow more naturally and increase clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a logical flow of ideas from the past to the present.
task achievement
The information selected is relevant and captures the primary changes between the two time periods.
task achievement
There are comparisons made between the two time periods, which show an understanding of the task instructions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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