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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The advance in air travel are focused only in first-class and this seems to have left others with no benefits at all. Do you agree or disagree?

#advance #air #travel
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The airline transportation system has undergone a significant transformation in
this
 contemporary era. A wide range of individuals believe that flights are concentrating more on the high-class category, and
as a result
, low-class passengers will not gain any merit. I totally agree with
this
 argument.
To begin
 with, flight institutions are seeking for the revenue. They believe that the net profit from the business class flights if it compared with the economical seats.
Therefore
, they resort to
put
Change the verb form
putting
show examples
 more effort and studies
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
this
 branch. The co-founder of British Airlines highlighted that the earnings from one extraordinary
traveler
Change the spelling
traveller
show examples
 are equal
ten
Change preposition
to ten
show examples
 regular
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
.
This
 prioritizes the importance of looking for
this
 type of people and how it can affect the flight industry.
Furthermore
, the main purpose
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 flying is to delight the moment.
This
 happens by offering you a unique experience.
This
 describes the main goal of first-class flights. In some jets, they offer
cozy
Change the spelling
cosy
show examples
 beds, special meals, and exclusive movies. These facilities are a method to attract individuals to try these privileges. A survey conducted by Professor Mike Jone elucidated that if folks prefer to travel
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 first or economical class. Seventy
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of people opted
first-class
Change preposition
for first-class
show examples
 in order to obtain all benefits. In conclusion, from what has been discussed above, the benefits of focusing on high-class seats are crucial in enhancing and expanding the flying industry.
Otherwise
, it will be demolished and extinct.
Submitted by mohannadsme on

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clarification
Make sure to clarify the distinction between 'low-class passengers' and 'economy class passengers'.
cohesion improvement
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to strengthen coherence.
use of examples
The essay presents a clear argument which is supported by relevant examples, including statistical references.
structure
Both the introduction and conclusion effectively summarize and encapsulate the main argument.
language variety
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • first-class cabin
  • economy class
  • luxury amenities
  • exclusive services
  • technological advancements
  • profit margins
  • customer experience
  • enhanced seating
  • gourmet dining
  • in-flight entertainment
  • economic implications
  • basic necessities
  • board process
  • seat space
  • wider accessibility
  • trickle down
  • secondary benefits
  • airline competition
  • minimal enhancements
  • elevate flight experience
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