All over the world societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem effects both children and adults. What are the reason for this rise in obesity. How could it be tackled?

#world #societies #obesity #effects #children #adults #reason #rise

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This

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this

essay will discuss the overworld societies

are

Correct pronoun usage

that are

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facing a growing problem with

obesity

, in our experience knowledge of different trends will know the reasons and results.

Overall

, there are many reasons that affect humans

due to

obesity

such

as bad routine or even fast food that huge reason can be a problem in their body,

Furthermore

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Furthermore,

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sometimes children are born fat

due to

illness from mother in hormones. Throughout we can solve all these problems, but how?

Actually

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Actually,

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we can advise them in a certain way

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, for example,

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for example

eat healthy food even if they love

pizze

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pizza

moreover

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moreover,

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they can eat once a week pizza but they should make it healthy by reducing sugar.

However

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However,

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those who suffer from

obesity

they can do sport or even just walk for 30

minute

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minutes

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every day that

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

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the body to decrease weight,

furthermore

in the morning they must eat a perfect breakfast because all day will have power,

also

they can take

snack

Add an article

a snack

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while

they working like banana, through children after 1 year, they must feed them in a good way to prevent

obesity

such

as eat egg in the morning that give them vitamins and energy. After that

also

some children about 5-8 years their families they don't care about them we should teach them how much

Unnecessary verb

apply

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difficult will be in future,

However

, they must sleep earlier because at night they will feel hungry and go to eat that's

due to

obesity

Submitted by rihas89s on Tue Nov 26 2024

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task achievement

Ensure the essay addresses all parts of the task clearly and thoroughly. Discuss both causes of obesity and possible solutions more explicitly.

coherence cohesion

Improve logical flow by using clear paragraph breaks and connecting ideas smoothly. This will enhance readability and coherence.

task achievement

You have successfully introduced some causes of obesity like fast food consumption and bad daily routines, which are relevant to the topic.

task achievement

The suggestion to eat healthy and engage in daily physical activities like walking is practical and useful.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

243 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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All over the world societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem effects both children and adults. What are the reason for this rise in obesity. How could it be tackled?

Fully explain your ideas

Today, the majority of children are raised by their grandparents since their parents are busy working. To what extent do you think it affects the whole family?

A restaurant has placed an advertisement for waiters and waitresses in your local newspaper. Write a letter to the restaurant, applying for the job. In your letter: explain what you are currently doing describe your suitability for this area of work say when you can attend an interview

you're people should be treated like adults if they commit a crime. in what extent do I agree or disagree

Some people say the the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.