IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You are renting a car from an agency. Your rent was for one month but you need to stop the rent two weeks early. Write a letter to the agency. In your letter introduce yourself ask to stop the rent before the contract finishes explain why you need to break the contract. Write at least 150 words

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
the
Correct your spelling
this
show examples
latter
Correct your spelling
letter
show examples
 to ask
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 return of the $650
deposit
Use synonyms
 that I paid to you before I rented your
car
Use synonyms
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which is an
avanza
Change the capitalization
Avanza
show examples
 type
car
Use synonyms
 that I
rents
Wrong verb form
rented
show examples
 in
Juni
Correct your spelling
June
show examples
 ago at Agus Rent and I
was return
Change the verb form
was returning
show examples
 your
car
Use synonyms
 in
a great conditions
Correct the article-noun agreement
a great condition
great conditions
show examples
. When I sent a
whatsapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
 to your place about
this
Linking Words
 problem, they said that I will not accept
back
Rephrase
apply
show examples
my
deposit
Use synonyms
 and I
was
Verb problem
did
show examples
 ununderstand
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 reason because before I
sign
Wrong verb form
signed
show examples
 my contract agreement, I saw that the
deposit
Use synonyms
will back
Wrong verb form
would be
show examples
 to me after I returned the
car
Use synonyms
. I hope you will
Add a missing verb
be responsibility
show examples
responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem. I believe that I have kept to the terms of the agreement. So, I will wait for your good decision within 24 hours. If I have not accepted back my
deposit
Use synonyms
, I will report
this
Linking Words
 accident to legal action. Your Faithfully, Sugeng Paijo

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task achievement
Make sure to include all points from the prompt, including introducing yourself and explaining why you need to end the rental early. This part is missing in your letter, and it's important to address the task fully.
coherence cohesion
The letter lacks clear paragraphing. Each key point (i.e., introducing yourself, asking to end the rental, explaining why) should be in a separate paragraph for clarity.
greeting and closing
You have a clear closing statement with a polite sign-off, which enhances the formality of the letter.
task achievement
You have made an attempt to explain the situation regarding the deposit and your concerns, which is an important element of task response.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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