IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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These days in Britain, when somebody has old people, they often take the old people to a
care
Use synonyms
home
Use synonyms
 with other old people that sometimes usually they will be paid by
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
care
Use synonyms
home
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I think the
roles
Fix the agreement mistake
role
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 of
family
Add an article
the family
a family
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 is very important in caring for elderly
parents
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, but the main responsibility should become
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government’s
Correct article usage
the government’s
show examples
 responsibility. There are some reasons that
support
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this
Linking Words
opinions
Fix the agreement mistake
opinion
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such
Linking Words
 as,
the
Correct determiner usage
that
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 senior citizens are part of citizens who
give
Verb problem
make
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 the main contribution during their life
like
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apply
show examples
whether through work, pay the tax and other social
contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
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. As a form of
apreciation
Correct your spelling
appreciation
 for their services, the
government
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 should provide facilities and financial
support
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 to them.
This
Linking Words
 is part of the
Use synonyms
government
Change noun form
government's
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 social responsibility toward the residents.
Espicially
Correct your spelling
Especially
 for
them
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 who have elderly who
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
difficult
Replace the word
difficulty
show examples
to paid
Verb problem
paying for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 nursing
home
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. So, with the
government
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’s assistance, their families do not worry about paying
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 senior citizens’s life in the
care
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home
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the family
also
Linking Words
 has a crucial role in giving the
support
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 of emotional and moral towards their
parents
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.
While
Linking Words
 the
government
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 just gives payment to their
care
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home
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, the
support
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 of family is very vital for them.
For example
Linking Words
, when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elderly
parents
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 feel not noticed by their children, they will be stressed and depressed.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the roles of both the family and
government
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 are equally important to
support
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elderly
parents
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 in nursing homes. In conclusion, the
government
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 should take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
helping
Verb problem
provide
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial
support
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by
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
senior citizens at the
care
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home
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.
Besides
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 that, the role of families
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 so important
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to them because they will be very happy if be advised by you. A combination of both the family and
government
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 can create an environment
that is
Linking Words
 comfortable
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the elderly
parents
Use synonyms
.

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relevant specific examples
Try to incorporate more specific examples to strengthen your argument. Examples from personal experience or hypothetical scenarios can add depth to your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Consider improving the clarity of your ideas by using more precise language. This will make your arguments easier to follow for the reader.
complete response
Work on providing a more detailed and nuanced discussion of the roles of family and government to achieve a higher score in task achievement.
introduction conclusion present
You have included an introduction and conclusion, giving your essay a clear structure.
complete response
The essay addresses the task prompt and provides logical reasons for your opinion regarding government and family responsibilities.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aging population
  • Elderly care
  • Nursing homes
  • Social welfare
  • Intergenerational responsibility
  • Caregiving
  • Financial burden
  • Quality of life
  • Pension funds
  • Healthcare policy
  • Taxation
  • Subsidies
  • Private insurance
  • Long-term care
  • Sustainability
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