IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Housing is essential for people. Some argue that the government should offer free housing for people who cannot afford it. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #argue #government #offer
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Owning a home is important for humans. In
opinion
Correct pronoun usage
my opinion
show examples
, some
people
Use synonyms
's
government
Use synonyms
 must provide free housing for those who are not able to buy it themselves. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 point of view, since it's not profitable and
productiveness
Replace the word
productivity
show examples
 will decrease. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain why I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is
people
Use synonyms
's responsibility to work and obtain a higher income to get home and it will lead to less productivity
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the job
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they do not have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 main reason to work.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Kazakhstan there was
programme
Add an article
a programme
the programme
show examples
 which gave
people
Use synonyms
 free housing,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
consequently
Linking Words
 led to decreasing motivation to work for plenty of
people
Use synonyms
. Because they got one of the most desirable items which the average human needs. Declining job activeness is unacceptable for the country
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since it could
be caused
Wrong verb form
cause
show examples
 the economy to decrease.
This
Linking Words
 is why the
government
Use synonyms
 should not offer
people
Use synonyms
 free housing.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is unprofitable for
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 economy. Because it's approximately
such
Linking Words
 as spending money for nothing
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since it will fail expectations.
For example
Linking Words
,
Kazakhstan
Correct article usage
the Kazakhstan
show examples
 parliament spent for establishment building plenty of money.
Therefore
Linking Words
 it is not a dependable project to free housing,
instead
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
government
Use synonyms
 should focus on giving jobs to
people
Use synonyms
 without jobs and homeless
people
Use synonyms
, it will be more sustainable and profitable. In conclusion, home is essential for
people
Use synonyms
. The
government
Use synonyms
 should offer to
people
Use synonyms
 who cannot afford it. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, because free housing is not a reliable investment similar to spending money for nothing and the
productivness
Correct your spelling
productiveness
 of workers will decline
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
leading
economic
Change preposition
to economic
show examples
 fall in a country
Submitted by erkasiet2008 on

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introduction conclusion
The essay presents a clear position on the topic and maintains it throughout. However, the introduction could be improved by clearly stating your position in the first paragraph, before diving into the reasoning. Ensure that your position is unambiguously stated at the outset.
supported main points
Your main points are well organized with clear topic sentences. However, attempt to include more specific evidence or examples to robustly support your arguments. This would enhance the effectiveness and persuasiveness of your essay.
logical structure
Some sentences could be refined to improve clarity. Consider revising sentences to streamline complex ideas. Additionally, check for grammatical issues such as verb agreement and sentence structure that may affect readability.
introduction conclusion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing your opinion effectively.
logical structure
Your essay maintains a clear structure with logical progression of ideas. Transitions between paragraphs are smooth.
complete response
You effectively address all parts of the task by discussing both financial and motivational implications of providing free housing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • essential
  • government intervention
  • affordable housing
  • public welfare
  • homelessness
  • poverty alleviation
  • taxpayer burden
  • unsustainable
  • devaluation
  • financial responsibility
  • subsidized housing
  • adequate standard of living
  • public health
  • economic implications
  • stability
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