IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #information #families #country #income #features #comparisons
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The provided bar graph illustrates the data about average expenses in eight
citerias
Correct your spelling
criteria
cities
 for a week as a percentage of income by families in 1968 and 2018.
Overall
, the highest expenditure
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food in 1968,
while
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 in
fuel
 and
power
.
Additionally
, the major expenses on leisure in 2018,
whereas
 the lowest for both personal goods,
fuel
 and
power
. In 1968, the customers paid 35% of their salaries to purchase
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 and nearly 5% for
fuel
 and
power
.
In contrast
, they spent just above 15%
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food and less than 5%
fuel
Change preposition
on fuel
show examples
 in 2018 which
depict
Correct subject-verb agreement
depicts
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 reduction
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 expenses
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to both years.
However
, people
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
wasted their money on leisure about 22% in 2018, which is evident that nearly two times more than
1968
Change preposition
in 1968
show examples
. When considering the items which increased their demand are
trasportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 and accommodations,
increased
Correct pronoun usage
which increased
show examples
 by 6% and 8% respectively. They
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 about 8%
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 household goods
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
 years,
while
 the amount of money spent on personal goods, clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
,
fuel
 and
power
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reduced in 2018.
Submitted by surangaprasad90 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words fuel, power with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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