IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people spent most of their lives living close to where they born. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#people #lives
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Many people think that staying in the same city in which they were born is a great
place
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 to spend a whole
life
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 but, others are saying there are some disadvantages to staying in one
place
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. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, we will find
why
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out why
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 people prefer to spend their
life
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 in one
place
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 only and will discuss what advantages and disadvantages there can be.
To begin
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, all humans have beliefs regarding their comfort zone; they don’t want to do anything out of the box or new challenging items in
life
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. Staying
at
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in
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 the same
place
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 since they are born will give a number of advantages like being connected with the family throughout
life
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, connected with same childhood friends and some would like to stay
due to
Linking Words
 their business
also
Linking Words
 which they got in heritage. Many humans
also
Linking Words
 like to stay
at
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in
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 the same
place
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 because if they want to establish
the
Correct article usage
a
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 business in the city where they
were
Wrong verb form
have been
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 living since childhood it will be easy to set up as they know many things and building connections can become easy by using references. Sometimes staying
at
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in
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 the same
place
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 can
also
Linking Words
 stop the growth of humans as they are introverted in their
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 because they wouldn't get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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 to connect with new people or
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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. Not only, they lose the better job opportunity if it is in another city or country but they will
also
Linking Words
 not understand responsibility and will never try to do a challenging job.
To conclude
Linking Words
, one should stay
at
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in
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 the same
place
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 but for
certain
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a certain
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 time they should leave that
place
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 for studying or for job purposes. Because that will teach them
real
Add a hyphen
real-life
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life
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 lessons and values.
Submitted by rp23599 on

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task achievement
Try to use more specific examples to support your points, such as real-life scenarios or statistics.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of ideas by using more cohesive devices, such as linkers or transitional phrases.
task achievement
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structure to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Comfort
  • Social ties
  • Family ties
  • Belonging
  • Resources
  • Opportunities
  • Fear
  • Unknown
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural attachment
  • Language barriers
  • Limited education
  • Skills
What to do next:
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