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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant worker in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant worker in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#worker #four #countries #workers #people #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The table illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of temporary migrant
workers
Use synonyms
 in Australia, New Zealand,
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States in 2003 and 2006,
as well as
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of these
workers
Use synonyms
 per 1000
people
Use synonyms
 in 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of temporary
migrant
Change to a plural noun
migrants
show examples
 sharply increased in all four countries over the three
period
Change to a plural noun
periods
show examples
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 there are significant differences with respect to the population. In 2006, the
number
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 of temporary migrant
workers
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 increased by almost 50% in Australia, and by
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
about a third in New Zealand, notably, in the United Kingdom their
number
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 approximately doubled,
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
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 from 137,000 to 266,00.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the United
Stated
Correct your spelling
States
show examples
, despite having the highest
number
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 of
migrant
Fix the agreement mistake
migrants
show examples
, recorded the smallest increase, by around 20%. In terms of migrant
workers
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 per 1,000
people
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 in 2006, despite the large absolute numbers, the United States, had the lowest ratio at just 2.3 per 1,000
people
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.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, despite being the country with the smallest increase, New Zealand had the largest
number
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 of
migrant
Fix the agreement mistake
migrants
show examples
 compared to the population: there were more than 20 migrants per 1000
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by federi.giorgi on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, workers, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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