Q/ Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

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There is no denying the fact that the usage of
lands
Fix the agreement mistake
land
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
diverse.
While
it is a commonly held belief that humans require those
lands
for farmland, housing, and industry,
that is
more crucial than saving
lands
for endangered
animals
.
This
essay will
anlayse
Correct your spelling
analyse
analyze
the reason for
this
perspective, include some examples and express my opinion.
To begin
with, in recent years the human population has increased,
therefore
,
people
expand
Wrong verb form
have expanded
show examples
their cities to cover their essential needs. Human acts led the
animals
to leave their
home-nature
Correct your spelling
home nature
show examples
which was the significant cause of their endangered.
However
,
people
justify their
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
by the importance of farmland so they eat, houses for their families and industry for their development.
In other words
,
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
perspective to be the priority is a mess. In terms of allocating
lands
for endangered
animals
, I tend to believe that
people
must stop their expanding and search for some solutions in order to limit their adverse impact.
Moreover
, endangered
animals
require specific
lands
to recover in order to increase their numbers.
For instance
, if governments set some strict regulations to protect
animals
'
lands
that would be beneficial for endangered
animals
. In conclusion, there is no easy answer to
this
question. On balance,
however
, I'm convinced that
people
can search for other alternatives to achieve their needs, but we should take care of the endangered
animals
at the same time and take care of our environment.
Submitted by omima7a7md on

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task achievement
Develop your ideas more thoroughly. Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points and make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Aim for better paragraph development to improve logical structure. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Clarify your position further in the introduction and conclusion for a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each main point is fully expanded to improve the coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and present a strong opening and closing to your argument.
task achievement
You respond to the task and present a recognizable position.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good effort to structure your ideas with logical transitions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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