IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The information below shows the results of a new council speeding fine system in the town of Lanastone which was introduced in 1992.

#information #results #council #system #town #lanastone
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The line graph provides data about the index of
traffic
Use synonyms
accidents
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 on the basic road ,
whereas
Linking Words
 the table
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the number of speeding
fines
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 over the period
30
Change preposition
of 30
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 years in the town of Lanastone during 1992.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 road
traffic
Use synonyms
 misadventure was the highest figure but substantially declined by the end of the period.
Thus
Linking Words
 decline was in an inverse with the number of speeding
fines
Use synonyms
 which had nearly doubled by 2015. Looking at the details, in the initial
year
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 and after
decade
Add an article
a decade
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in
Change preposition
apply
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the numbers of
traffics
Correct subject-verb agreement
traffic
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 demonstrated
none
Rephrase
no
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 one accident
fines
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. In the following
year
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,
tends
Verb problem
the trend
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 of fine stood at 350 before
rapid
Correct article usage
a rapid
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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increase to 545. The
proportions
Fix the agreement mistake
proportion
show examples
 of speeding
fines
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 issued , from 610 in 2005 to 590
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the
year
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. Coming to the second graph
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 named line
demonstrated
Wrong verb form
demonstrates
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
roads
Fix the agreement mistake
road
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
accidents
Use synonyms
. In 1985,
accidents
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 of
traffic
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 owned 250, before slight a rise to just under 300 in 1990. After 5 years of
traffic
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accidents
Use synonyms
 trends
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased
with
Change preposition
by
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 approximately 150. In both years 200 and 2005 figures
witnesssed
Correct your spelling
witnessed
 slight a decline to 210 and 100 . In the final
year
Use synonyms
, trends
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
maintained the same level about 100.
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task achievement
Your overall response to the task is clear, but it could be improved by addressing the trends more comprehensively and with sharper focus.
task achievement
Enhance clarity by using precise language and ensuring all ideas are clearly expressed. Avoid overly complex sentence structures that might confuse the reader.
task achievement
Use specific data points more effectively to support your main observations about trends and changes over time.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your analysis in the text follows a more structured layout, helping to guide the reader through your points logically.
coherence cohesion
Transitions between points and sections can be smoothed out to improve overall coherence. Consider using more linking words to connect ideas.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that each separate point in the analysis is clearly linked to the others, reinforcing the overall narrative of the essay.
task achievement
You've clearly attempted to present and compare the data, identifying the inverse relationship between traffic accidents and speeding fines very well.
coherence cohesion
Your attempt to segment the information into paragraphs helps in maintaining structure throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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