IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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We are living in the era of technology, which fosters service, education, and economics.
Hence
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, an abundance of people suppose that when someone goes to market they can buy everything around the world. From my perspective, the problem includes advantages and disadvantages, so I will explain the reason why I believe it On the one hand, we can not deny that factories can produce a lot of things around the world,
therefore
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, It is not unusual to see a wide variety of
products
Use synonyms
 available to consumers at supermarkets.
For
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this
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 reason, it can help a lot of citizens save time to buy some things.
In addition
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, if the supermarket is full of goods, individuals can connect with cultural diversity around the world, improve their lives, and ameliorate the economy. In Vietnam, major supermarkets like Co.opmart and Go have brought in various food
products
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 from nations
such
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 as Japan, the US, and Australia, enabling consumers to try new dishes that they might have tasted only
while
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traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 across the boundaries.
On the other hand
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,
although
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 there are plenty of benefits, it is undeniable that the issue may have some drawbacks,
such
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 as foreign lovers, pollution, etc. For starters, regarding the issue of xenophilia, after a long time enjoying foreign food, several people gradually form a bad habit of tending to criticize the
products
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 and promote their country's goods.
In addition
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, the fact that many people go to supermarkets will increase the possibility of environmental pollution
due to
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 the means of transport they use to arrive there.
Moreover
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, the rise in imported goods can diminish the motivation for local agricultural
products
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, leading to a decline in the value of domestic offerings and making them less competitive in price. All in all, despite the benefits, it is still a negative development to a certain extent.
Therefore
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, we need to balance and control the amount of product needed to adjust and improve
further
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.

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task achievement
Try to provide a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to enhance the clarity of your position on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas flow logically from one to the next to improve coherence.
task achievement
Utilize more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the richness of your language.
task achievement
You provided a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which demonstrates thoughtful consideration.
task achievement
Your examples from Vietnam add a personal touch and contextual relevance to your argument, making it more relatable.
coherence and cohesion
Overall, your writing shows a good structure, with clear paragraphs for each point made which helps in understanding your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
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