IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #numbers #participants #activities #centre #melbourne #australia #period #summarise #features #comparisons
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the given graph represents the data
over
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the number of members for a variety of activities like
film
Use synonyms
club
Use synonyms
, martial arts, amateur dramatics, table tennis and musical performances at Melbourne's
social centre
Correct your spelling
Social Centre
show examples
 in Australia from 2000 until 2020 year
overall
Linking Words
, the
film
Use synonyms
club
Use synonyms
 was the most popular facility
all
Change preposition
at all
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time,
while
Linking Words
 amateur dramatics and musical performances had the smallest amount of
participants
Use synonyms
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the graphic, the graph shows that table tennis had the highest growth over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time, and the
film
Use synonyms
club
Use synonyms
 had the smallest increase The
film
Use synonyms
club
Use synonyms
 had the highest number of members in 2000 years,about 64 people, and had slightly decreased to 60 people the next decade,
and
Correct word choice
apply
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in 2010 started to slowly grow to the amount he had at the beginning. Martial arts had approximately 35 students
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the start and fluctuated with minor
change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
show examples
,and had about 38 students in 2020. The amateur
club
Use synonyms
 had 26
participants
Use synonyms
 in 2020
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and stayed stable for the next five years, though had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 dramatic decrease until 2020 to 5 members.
The table
Correct article usage
Table
show examples
 tennis had 16
participants
Use synonyms
 in 2000 and remained stable until 2010 and rapidly went up to 55 partners in 2020. The
last
Linking Words
 activity musical performances started only in 2005 and moderately grew to 15
participants
Use synonyms
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words film, club, participants with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • trends
  • significant increases/decreases
  • stable numbers
  • fluctuations
  • overall participation
  • comparison
  • activities
  • social centre
  • Melbourne
  • participants
  • highlight
  • report
  • graph illustrates/demonstrates
  • 20-year period
  • key features
  • main features
  • statistical data
  • variations
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