Some people think that university students should pay all the expenses for their studies because a university education only benefits students themselves and not a society as a whole discuss both persepctives and give your opinion ?

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There is no denying the fact that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
is
an
Change the article
apply
show examples
essential for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
societies.
While
it is a commonly held belief that all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
expenses should be
pay
Wrong verb form
paid
show examples
by
students
themselves, there is
also
an argument that only
students
are
benfiting
Correct your spelling
benefiting
benefitting
from
university
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
and not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
as a whole.
This
essay will discuss
this
topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
To begin
with, it is true that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
expenses are high, and
leave
Wrong verb form
leaving
show examples
this
burden on
students
will decrease the
university
Correct quantifier usage
number of university
show examples
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
which will affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.
In other words
, the
society
in
Add the comma(s)
, in
show examples
fact, is benefiting from
university
students
because they are increasing the
society
's income and knowledge.
In addition
, not all
students
have the mental ability to
encompass
Verb problem
find
show examples
a
jop
Correct your spelling
job
and classroom to buy their
expanses
Correct your spelling
expenses
show examples
so they will drop
college
Change preposition
out of college
show examples
.
Moreover
,
universties
Correct your spelling
universities
will be only included for rich
students
which will
constrat
Correct your spelling
contrast
construct
the community
valus
Correct your spelling
values
value
. Another point to
connsider
Correct your spelling
consider
is that the benefits of the
university
graduat
Correct your spelling
graduate
graduates
will feed all
society
's sectors
such
as health, industry and even
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
sector. It is
also
possible to say
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how we
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
have doctors if we did not encourage
students
to
complet
Correct your spelling
complete
their
university
education
by
assest
Correct your spelling
assist
asset
them financially. To illustrate, Societies will be affected if the
university
Correct quantifier usage
number of university
show examples
students
decreased
Wrong verb form
decreases
show examples
.
For instance
, if the governments did not set some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
regulations to instruct universities to help student
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
continue their studies that
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
destroy the
education
system. In conclusion, there is no easy answer to
this
question. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe that people and governments must facilitate the
education
journy
Correct your spelling
journey
for
students
because they are the future of the country and investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
them will improve that future.
Submitted by omima7a7md on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen the introduction by clearly stating both perspectives early on. This will help align the reader's expectation of how the essay will proceed.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or case studies that support the points being made. This will help illustrate the benefits or drawbacks discussed in each paragraph.
Task Achievement
Ensure consistency and accuracy in terminology, such as "job" instead of "jop", and "assist" instead of "assest." Minor spelling and grammar adjustments can improve clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a well-structured discussion on both perspectives, exploring the benefits of a university education to society as well as the argument for students bearing the costs.
Coherence and Cohesion
A strong conclusion reinforces the writer's opinion, effectively summarizing the argument that education should be facilitated by society and government, highlighting its importance for the future.
Task Achievement
The essay adequately addresses the task, considering both individual and societal benefits of a university education and how these justify the need for shared financial responsibility.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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