The bar and line chart below shows average monthly temperatures and bathing suit sales in New York for the first 6 months of 2012.
The graphic gives information about the average temperature in New York and
also
revenue which was generated from sales
of bathing suits. All of the information is from the first half of 2012.
Not surprisingly we can see that the coldest months were those which were in winter, when the temperature rising steadily throughout spring and into summer.
However
, the warmer weather does not seem to result in an increase in bathing suit
sales
. Revenue from bathing suit
sales
started fairly strong at the beginning of the period and rose steadily over the first three months from ten to fifteen million dollars. After
this
sales
shooted
up with revenue doubling in April. Correct your spelling
shot
Then
sales
decrease dramitcally
over May and June.
Correct your spelling
dramatically
Overall
, we can see that most people prefer to buy a bathing suit
in the winter and spring months with bathing suit
sales
are
relatively poor in the summer.Wrong verb form
being
Submitted by alessandrorepola.repola on
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, suit with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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