IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

What are the benefits of living in big cities,as opposed to rural areas? What are the problems of rural areas, and how can they be solved?

In the modern era,
people
Use synonyms
lives
Correct pronoun usage
who lives
show examples
 in cities
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 more benefits than
villages
Change preposition
in villages
show examples
. And is affecting rural
areas
Use synonyms
. There are some problems like
agriculture
Use synonyms
 production is letting down, economically poor. we will discuss in
this
Linking Words
 essay with solutions
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
people
Use synonyms
 who
living
Change the form of the verb
live
show examples
 in big cities for their development but it has opposed the rural
areas
Use synonyms
, especially
agriculture
Use synonyms
 is the backbone of our country, here we lose the production in a
village
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, recently the government has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
announced
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct quantifier usage
number of agriculture
show examples
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
 farmers are decreasing
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 4%
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the
last
Linking Words
 five years, if
this
Linking Words
 repeats, we will lose the food manufacturing process.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in villages schools, colleges and transport systems are dumped
due to
Linking Words
 many
people
Use synonyms
went
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 with family for their career growth so economically in rural
areas
Use synonyms
 are letting down quickly, and is not encourageable for development.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some solutions to solve the problems for rural
areas
Use synonyms
 development. The government should take care of the
people
Use synonyms
 who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 living in the villages, they need to construct
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools, colleges and factories and more enough
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
facilities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, one of my
cousin
Fix the agreement mistake
cousins
show examples
living
Wrong verb form
lives
show examples
 in a
village
Use synonyms
, that area has
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of facilities to have for the
people
Use synonyms
 so he and his family
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 not
go
Change the verb form
gone
show examples
 to the
city
Use synonyms
 side.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
live in a
village
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 to work more for their
village
Use synonyms
 to develop than a
city
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I would recommend
to live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
village
Correct article usage
a village
show examples
 has more benefits
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
lives
Correct pronoun usage
who lives
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 more benefits and in
Use synonyms
village
Add an article
the village
a village
show examples
 there are some problems like
Use synonyms
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
 failure
as well as
Linking Words
economically not developed
Replace the word
economic development
show examples
 but the government taking better actions to
avoid
Verb problem
prevent
show examples
people
Use synonyms
to migrate
Change preposition
from migrating
show examples
 to the
city
Use synonyms
 and they have to develop a
village
Use synonyms
, following these to be more advantages for a
village
Use synonyms
 growth.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which establish the topic and summarize your points. However, the introduction lacks specificity, and the main points could be clearer. Try to outline the main points more explicitly in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Some paragraphs lack logical flow and consistency. Ensure each paragraph contains a single main idea with supporting details, and use clear linking words to enhance cohesion.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both parts of the question, but the points about the benefits of city life and the problems in rural areas need more specificity and depth. Also, reinforce your points with more varied and specific examples.
task achievement
Avoid general statements—such as about the economy or migration—and instead, focus on detailed examples or statistics to support your arguments. This helps in conveying clear and comprehensive ideas.
task achievement
You have demonstrated understanding of the topic by discussing both benefits of city life and issues in rural areas, along with possible solutions.
coherence cohesion
The essay features both an introduction and a conclusion that clearly highlight the purpose and summary of your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Amenities
  • Employment opportunities
  • Healthcare services
  • Educational institutions
  • Public transport
  • Social interactions
  • Quality of life
  • Specialized skills
  • Diverse industries
  • Medical care
  • Concentration
  • Infrastructure
  • Government investment
  • Internet connectivity
  • Local businesses
  • Community building
What to do next:
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