IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#countries #people #enrol #university #situation
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There have been contentious
debater
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debates
show examples
 over the decision
of beginning
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to begin
show examples
 your career path as an apprentice
instead
going
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of going
show examples
 to the
university
. Some people believe that acquiring the base knowledge
on
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in
show examples
 a particular field is more effective
by
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through
show examples
 practical and real experience. Others argue that
university
 is essential in order to succeed in a particular sector. Despite the differing views, I am inclined to believe that the only way to learn how to work is, indeed,
practicing
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practising
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 and working out on some
real life
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real-life
show examples
 problems and solutions. By fostering
this
 practical experience, a wider knowledge
on
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of
show examples
 the job will be obtained.
To begin
 with, going to the
university
foster
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fosters
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 some particular skills
such
 as research assessment, more
advance
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advanced
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 knowledge,
demonstration
Correct word choice
and demonstration
show examples
 of different problems which have to be solved, to name a few. A broader understanding of how things work can be assessed.
For instance
, in Mechanical Engineering, even though physics is the hardest course, it can be useful when a solution
on
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to
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 a problem which involves several rigid bodies is required. Despite the
theorical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
 concepts that are taught in
university
, practical experience is essential to carry out any task. Even if the cleverest physician were responsible for solving a
real life
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real-life
show examples
 problem,
such
 as changing the lubrication oil on the car, the humongous amount of
equation
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equations
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this
 person knows might be useless.
Consequently
, being able to perform well
on
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in
show examples
 a particular job does not rely on
an
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a
show examples
university
 degree. Following all the points mentioned above, it is important to note that the practical skills that an individual, as an apprentice, is able to acquire
outweighs
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outweigh
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 those learnt in
university
.
Submitted by dar.rodriguez.ramos on

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relevant specific examples
Enhance your use of specific examples to strengthen arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure your language is precise and accurate, particularly in areas with technical explanations.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction presents a clear overview of the debate and takes a position.
logical structure
Logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, contributing to easy readability.
supported main points
Effectively weighs the importance of practical experience against theory-based education in the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
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