The first chart below gives information about the money spend by British parents on their children’s sports between 2008 and 2014. The second chart shows the number of children who participated in three sports in Britain over the same time period.

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The line graphs illustrate the spending money on children’s sporting activities by parents in Britain

as well as

Linking Words

the number of children who took part in three types of sports in Britain from 2008 to 2014. It is clearly observed that over the entire period, the amount of money spent on children’s sports increased gradually.

Additionally

Linking Words

, football emerged as the most popular sport among pupils. Between 2008 and 2010, the figure for children who participated in athletics remained constant at approximately 1

million

Use synonyms

. Over the next 2 years, it rose dramatically to 5

million

Use synonyms

. In the subsequent years, it saw a slight decline of 4

million

Use synonyms

Also

Linking Words

, In 2008, the number of participants in football was just over 7.5,

whereas

Linking Words

that of swimming was lower at just under 2.5

million

Use synonyms

. From

this

Linking Words

year until 2014, these figures grew minimally by almost 9 and 3.5

million

Use synonyms

respectively.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, in 2008, the amount of money on children’s sports was 20 pounds

while

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

during

this

Linking Words

time

this

Linking Words

figure went up rapidly by 10 pounds.

Submitted by www.marzieh.eidi on Fri Nov 29 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words million with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

172 words

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The first chart below gives information about the money spend by British parents on their children’s sports between 2008 and 2014. The second chart shows the number of children who participated in three sports in Britain over the same time period.

Instead of revealing the truth, the mass media very often misguides people. What are the reasons behind this and the visible effects on the society at large?

Some people believe that it is more common way to learn history by watching movies instead of reading books. Does the advantages of this ought weight the disadvantages?

Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What are the reasons for this and how can the problem be tackled?

3.What key criteria does your target company use in their recruitment process?

Watching Television: A Valuable or Wasteful Pastime?