The Internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no denying the fact that the
internet
left a revolutionary impact to
our lives. Change preposition
on
While
it is a commonly held belief that it allows us to stay in touch whenever we want and no matter where we are, there is also
an argument that it also
isolates us and encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
people
not to socialise.
To begin
with, the internet
facilitate
our lives in various ways. Change the verb form
facilitates
In other words
, due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
internet
usage people
can reach all the world news in
Change preposition
with
a
click of a button. Correct article usage
the
In addition
, these days people
prefer to communicate with each other with
the Change preposition
via
Internet
rather than face-to-face. For example
, instead
of booking a flight to see your family, you can see them via social media applications whenever you want.
In terms of the adverse impact, studies have proven that the internet
was the reason of
the Change preposition
for
changed
Replace the word
change
of
Change preposition
in
people
's behaviours. It is also
possible to say that, these days people
tend to spend their times
alone with their phones. Fix the agreement mistake
time
Moreover
, they prefer to stay at home which led
to decreased Wrong verb form
leads
their
social skills significantly. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For instance
, children tend to play video games rather than spending
their time outside, Wrong verb form
spend
therefore
, they have a crucial issue in communication.
In conclusion, there is no easy answer to this
question. On balance, however
, I'm convinced that the internet
has a positive impact but we must be alert to its other side. Therefore
, if people
did
not pay much attention to the other side, their behaviors and morals will be changed forever.Wrong verb form
do
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or statistics to support your claims.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your main points are well-supported with relevant examples or evidence.
task achievement
Great job in presenting both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structure.
coherence cohesion
The points are articulated in a clear manner, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?