IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Intelligence is the most important quality that a leader needs to have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#intelligence #quality #leader
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There has been an ongoing debate as to whether
leaders
 must own the ability of
intelligence
 or
are
Correct word choice
whether are
show examples
 there other
skills
 which are more crucial rather than it. I am of the opinion that
although
intelligence
 is one of the best qualities which is required, other
skills
 can be involved more. Admittedly, there are many benefits which come from being more literate. One of which is that intelligent people who are steering the ship can solve the problems easily
,
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apply
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 since they have knowledge or experience.
Therefore
, they can find the most suitable solution when it is needed.
Furthermore
, knowledgeable individuals can make decisions in a fair way. They look at both sides if there is
necessity
Add an article
a necessity
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 for making
fairly
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a fair
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 decision on two people or a group.
Additionally
, they may invest
new
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in new
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 ideas which contribute development of the company or business, and they utilize their
intelligence
 for all of them.
However
, even though
opinions
Correct article usage
the opinions
show examples
 mentioned above, I do believe that there are many other
skills
 which are more important, communication
skills
,
for example
. First and foremost, if
leaders
 do not have these
skills
, they can not issue their own ideas to the group or other means, even
they
Correct word choice
if they
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 have enough
intelligence
 about that, since they might feel
shyness
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shy
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 or can not gather their power
for revealing
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to reveal
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 their own opinions. Not only does leadership require soft
skills
, but dedication
also
 is needed for them, because workers more often act like their
leaders
.
And if
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If
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leaders
late
Add a missing verb
are late
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, employees
also
 adapt
this
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to this
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 condition and
do
Verb problem
take
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actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
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 like their
leaders
. So, discipline is more important than ever.
Firstly
,
leaders
 must be disciplined before being intelligent. In conclusion, it is suggested that being intelligent is the most crucial aspect of being a leader. Yet, I am in
favor
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favour
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 of
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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being communicative and disciplined are more crucial features than being intellectual or another one.
Submitted by Writing9 on

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task achievement
Provide clearer examples or evidence to support your claims, particularly on how intelligence and other qualities enhance leadership.
task achievement
Ensure all ideas are fully developed and clear to enhance comprehension.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to improve the flow of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument regarding the importance of intelligence and other skills in leadership.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • informed decisions
  • complex problems
  • anticipate
  • emotional intelligence
  • connect with others
  • inspire
  • manage conflicts
  • wisdom
  • integrity
  • execute ideas
  • empathy
  • resilience
  • motivate
  • unite
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