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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

The charts below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.
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The given pictures illustrate what the layout of a university’s
sports
Use synonyms
centre
Use synonyms
 looks like at present and after reconstruction.
Overall
Linking Words
, the 25m
pool
Use synonyms
, seating, reception, and changing
room
Use synonyms
 will be unchanged.
Also
Linking Words
, the
gym
Use synonyms
 will be redeveloped.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
two
Use synonyms
 outdoor courts will be removed.
However
Linking Words
, a leisure
pool
Use synonyms
,
two
Use synonyms
 changing rooms, a
sports
Use synonyms
 shop, a café, a
sports
Use synonyms
 hall, and
two
Use synonyms
 dance studios will be built. It is clearly seen that the outdoor courts will be replaced by a changing
room
Use synonyms
, a café, a
sports
Use synonyms
 hall, and
two
Use synonyms
 dance studios in the east.
Also
Linking Words
, the
gym
Use synonyms
 will be reconstructed, and the
gym
Use synonyms
 will have more size in the east. The 25m
pool
Use synonyms
, seating, reception, and changing
room
Use synonyms
 will not be modified in the
centre
Use synonyms
. It is obvious that the 25m
pool
Use synonyms
, seating, reception, and changing
room
Use synonyms
 will not be modified in the
centre
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
, as mentioned, the
gym
Use synonyms
 will be redeveloped in the
centre
Use synonyms
. The outdoor courts will be removed in the west, and
then
Linking Words
 a leisure
pool
Use synonyms
, a changing
room
Use synonyms
, and a
sports
Use synonyms
 shop will be constructed in
this
Linking Words
 place.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sports, centre, pool, room, gym, two with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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