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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the changes in the percentage of households with cars in one European country between 1971 and 2001.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the changes in the percentage of households with cars in one European country between 1971 and 2001.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart describes the information about the different numbers of cars which households had from 1971 to 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the proportion of the families which didn’t have a
car
Use synonyms
 was a downward trend, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 others fluctuated abnormally. In 1971, the number of people who had no
car
Use synonyms
 reached nearly 50%, which was the highest percentage , and 3 times of two cars, followed by one
car
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 figure reduced continuously over a 20-year
period
Use synonyms
 to 30%,
then
Linking Words
 remained stable until 2001, which was the shortest proportion.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the number of households with 2 cars in 1971 was the lowest rate at 18%. After increasing nearly 2 times to 30% in a decade,
this
Linking Words
 proportion decreased 10% over a 10-year
period
Use synonyms
. In the
last
Linking Words
 10 years, it jumped to 30% in the
last
Linking Words
period
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in 1971, there was a considerable decrease of 16% in the rate of one
car
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 over 20 years down to 20% before boosting 2 times in the
last
Linking Words
 10 years,
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 40% and
became
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 the highest by the end of the observed
period
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words car, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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