Some people believe they should keep all the money they have earned and should not poy tax to the state. Do you agree or disagree?

Some
faction
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factions
show examples
of
people
argue
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argues
show examples
that they have to save
their
Change the word
the
show examples
money
which has earned for
own
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
and should not pay
money
to
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
for country expenses. I strongly agree that paying
tax
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taxes
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
not necessary for
majority
Add an article
the majority
show examples
of
people
and it must be voluntary .
Firstly
,
Correct article usage
the governmet
show examples
governmet
Correct your spelling
government
must
has
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have
show examples
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
way to earn its own budgets like
export
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exports
show examples
, power production and global dealing. it can be as an offer that some
people
help
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
special activities
such
as
Correct article usage
the constructure
show examples
constructure
Correct your spelling
construction
of public places.
Therefore
has not to be
forces
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force
show examples
and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
responciple
Correct your spelling
responsible
to do and provide all facility which are
people
's welfare
such
as
hospital
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hospitals
show examples
,
university
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universities
show examples
and
qulity
Correct your spelling
quality
of
road
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roads
show examples
.
People
can spend
thier
Correct your spelling
their
own total salary
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
their personal activities like buying
car
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a car
show examples
,
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or, house
show examples
house
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a house
show examples
and
also
save for far future.
In other words
,
people
try hard and spend their precious lives to make
money
for their children. It is completely wrong that they work as worker and over time pay large
amount
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amounts
show examples
of their budget to
government
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the government
show examples
for
recieving
Correct your spelling
receiving
first needs.
Although
people
with moderate classification do not pay
money
as a
tax
, rich
people
who
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
own large factories
ans
Correct your spelling
and
mines must pay
money
to their country,
whereas
they use natural sources and
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
,
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
damage
to
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature, so officials are
pesponsible
Correct your spelling
responsible
to
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for
show examples
rebuilding them requires
money
.
To sum up
,
this
opinion which points out to pay
money
as a
tax
is really
unfiar
Correct your spelling
unfair
. I believe that most of the
people
who
contain
Verb problem
are
show examples
poor and normal
people
must not pay
tax
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taxes
show examples
.
However
, those
people
who have very high
income
Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
show examples
pay
money
for helping
Change preposition
to help
show examples
their country and
government
.
Submitted by mellika.sadeghi1 on

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task achievement
Work on providing stronger supporting evidence or examples to reinforce your main points. This will make your argument more convincing. Consider adding more balanced viewpoints to the discussion for a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs and ideas. Make sure each idea connects well to the next, enhancing the overall coherence. Breaking down each idea clearly and providing relevant linkers can improve cohesion greatly.
task achievement
Clarify complex ideas to ensure they are easily understood by the reader. This will help in conveying your points more comprehensively. Break down ideas into simpler terms where possible.
coherence cohesion
You've made a clear attempt to structure the essay with an introduction and conclusion, which is essential for a coherent flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear argument with a perspective that has been maintained throughout. It shows that you can articulate a stance on a complex issue.
task achievement
You've addressed the task by discussing the idea that taxes might be unnecessary for the majority of people, outlining alternative ideas about government funding.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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