Some people believe they should keep all the money they have earned and should not poy tax to the state. Do you agree or disagree?
Some
faction
of Fix the agreement mistake
factions
people
argue
that they have to save Change the verb form
argues
their
Change the word
the
money
which has earned for own
Correct word choice
apply
theirselves
and should not pay Correct your spelling
themselves
money
to government
for country expenses. I strongly agree that paying Add an article
the government
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
in
not necessary for Correct your spelling
is
majority
of Add an article
the majority
people
and it must be voluntary .
Firstly
, Correct article usage
the governmet
governmet
must Correct your spelling
government
has
Change the verb form
have
better
way to earn its own budgets like Add an article
a better
export
, power production and global dealing. it can be as an offer that some Fix the agreement mistake
exports
people
help government
Correct article usage
the government
for
special activities Change preposition
with
such
as Correct article usage
the constructure
constructure
of public places. Correct your spelling
construction
Therefore
has not to be forces
and Fix the agreement mistake
force
government
Correct article usage
the government
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
responciple
to do and provide all facility which are Correct your spelling
responsible
people
's welfare such
as hospital
, Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
university
and Fix the agreement mistake
universities
qulity
of Correct your spelling
quality
road
. Fix the agreement mistake
roads
People
can spend thier
own total salary Correct your spelling
their
to
their personal activities like buying Change preposition
on
car
Correct article usage
a car
,
Correct word choice
or, house
house
and Correct article usage
a house
also
save for far future.
In other words
, people
try hard and spend their precious lives to make money
for their children. It is completely wrong that they work as worker and over time pay large amount
of their budget to Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
government
for Add an article
the government
recieving
first needs. Correct your spelling
receiving
Although
people
with moderate classification do not pay money
as a tax
, rich people
who have
own large factories Unnecessary verb
apply
ans
mines must pay Correct your spelling
and
money
to their country, whereas
they use natural sources and some times
, Correct your spelling
sometimes
they
damage Correct your spelling
the
to
Change preposition
apply
the
nature, so officials are Correct article usage
apply
pesponsible
Correct your spelling
responsible
to
rebuilding them requires Change preposition
for
money
.
To sum up
, this
opinion which points out to pay money
as a tax
is really unfiar
. I believe that most of the Correct your spelling
unfair
people
who contain
poor and normal Verb problem
are
people
must not pay tax
. Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
However
, those people
who have very high income
pay Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
money
for helping
their country and Change preposition
to help
government
.Submitted by mellika.sadeghi1 on
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task achievement
Work on providing stronger supporting evidence or examples to reinforce your main points. This will make your argument more convincing. Consider adding more balanced viewpoints to the discussion for a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs and ideas. Make sure each idea connects well to the next, enhancing the overall coherence. Breaking down each idea clearly and providing relevant linkers can improve cohesion greatly.
task achievement
Clarify complex ideas to ensure they are easily understood by the reader. This will help in conveying your points more comprehensively. Break down ideas into simpler terms where possible.
coherence cohesion
You've made a clear attempt to structure the essay with an introduction and conclusion, which is essential for a coherent flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear argument with a perspective that has been maintained throughout. It shows that you can articulate a stance on a complex issue.
task achievement
You've addressed the task by discussing the idea that taxes might be unnecessary for the majority of people, outlining alternative ideas about government funding.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.