The charts below give information on the location and the types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
The graph shows information about where the youth generation
attend
class, and which types are the most popular with children until 16 years of age in Australia.
There are 4 types of Change the verb form
attends
studios
for studying dances for kids. Community hall takes 18 % . The majority of attendance belongs to private studios
by 48% , whereas
College based
Correct your spelling
college-based
studios
were the least popular in the area. And school
halls Correct word choice
School
where
students use after their schedule Correct word choice
which
was
double times less than private Correct subject-verb agreement
were
studios
.
Specifically, children practice 3 types of dance
, ballet, tap, and modern. Under 11, They tend to study ballet the most as attendance reaches 600 while
modern dance
’s class size was a
half of it. Change the article
apply
Therefore
, young people around the age of 11-16 are more interested in modern dance
, unlike those under 11. Only tap dance
’s numbers of age group
are similar as attendance Fix the agreement mistake
groups
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
both
around 450.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
Overall
, private studios
are the primary choice for students who are studying dance
. There are differences of interest between kids under 11 and ages 11-16. Younger children are more interested in ballet, whereas
11-16 year olds
are the least interested in it. Modern Add a hyphen
16-year-olds
dance
is popular with older ones while
little kids are not keen on it much.Submitted by Ariunaa on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words studios, dance with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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