The charts below give information on the location and the types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#information #location #dance #classes #people #town #australia #summarise #features #comparisons

The graph shows information about where the youth generation

attend

Change the verb form

attends

show examples

class, and which types are the most popular with children until 16 years of age in Australia. There are 4 types of

studios

for studying dances for kids. Community hall takes 18 % . The majority of attendance belongs to private

studios

by 48% ,

whereas

College based

Correct your spelling

college-based

show examples

studios

were the least popular in the area.

And school

Correct word choice

School

show examples

halls

where

Correct word choice

which

show examples

students use after their schedule

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

double times less than private

studios

. Specifically, children practice 3 types of

dance

, ballet, tap, and modern. Under 11, They tend to study ballet the most as attendance reaches 600

while

modern

dance

’s class size was

Change the article

apply

show examples

half of it.

Therefore

, young people around the age of 11-16 are more interested in modern

dance

, unlike those under 11. Only tap

dance

’s numbers of age

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

are similar as attendance

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

both

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

around 450.

Overall

, private

studios

are the primary choice for students who are studying

dance

. There are differences of interest between kids under 11 and ages 11-16. Younger children are more interested in ballet,

whereas

11-

16 year olds

Add a hyphen

16-year-olds

show examples

are the least interested in it. Modern

dance

is popular with older ones

while

little kids are not keen on it much.

Submitted by Ariunaa on Sat Nov 30 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".

▼

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words studios, dance with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

207 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

attending
currently
location
variety
ballet
hip-hop
contemporary
jazz
venues
popularity
attendees
juxtaposing
correlating
proximity
cultural influences
trends
anomalies
monopoly
proportion
distribution
enrollment

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The charts below give information on the location and the types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?