IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The two pie charts show the percentage of pollutants entering a particular part of ocean in 1997 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The pie charts depict the proportion of sources of pollution in some parts of the ocean.
This
Linking Words
 includes data from 1997 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest percentage of
pollutants
Use synonyms
 in 1997 was from
air
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 which was similar to 2007.
However
Linking Words
, in the latter year, there was
also
Linking Words
 a high proportion of domestic sewage. In detail, in 1997, the greatest proportion of
pollutants
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 entering a particular part of an ocean
are
Wrong verb form
were
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 from
air
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 at 30%. With an 8% difference, it was followed by pollution caused by marine
,
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apply
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 and domestic sewage with more than
half
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 of the
pollutants
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 from
air
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 at 18%. The data from industrial
waste
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 was adjacent to the figure
of
Change preposition
for
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pollutants
Use synonyms
 from
Use synonyms
air
Add an article
the air
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 at 17%. With
half
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 a tenth, the third least cause of ocean pollution was offshore oil, and
lastly
Linking Words
,
with
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apply
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an equal fraction of 4% were from litter and farm
waste
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. After a decade,
although
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 the rate of
pollutants
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 from
air
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 decreased by 1%,it was still considered the highest in 2007
along with
Linking Words
 domestic sewage with the same result at 29%. Next was 17% from
marine
Add an article
the marine
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 industry, and offshore oil almost tripled at 14%.
Moreover
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, industrial
waste
Use synonyms
nearly
Add a missing verb
was nearly
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 reduced by
half
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 after 10 years at 9%,
also
Linking Words
, farm
waste
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 was exactly cut by
half
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, in 2007, none was recorded from litter.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words pollutants, air, half, waste with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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