IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefilt teenagers and community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefilt
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some people argue that teenagers should be essentially
to
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apply
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unpaid volunteers in their time off.
This
 will be beneficial for teenagers and the communities. l totally disagree with
this
 statement as
i
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I
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 will be discussing it now.
firstly
,
the
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apply
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youngsters
in
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at
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 those ages are more likely to learn more about what they are interested
and
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in and
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 they
are tend
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tend
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 to discover themselves
through
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in
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 their own ways.
young
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Young
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 adults should participate in their studies and stuff like projects,
research
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and research
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 and be participants in seminars and conferences .
Additionally
, developing their skills and abilities in the fields that inspire them. those things are Preparing teenagers for
future
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the future
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along with
work
 life
.
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therefore
therefore
 requested them to
work
. it may
be cause
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cause
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 them stress to balance their lives with volunteer jobs The second reason is I find it unfair to young adults to do unpaid
work
.
due to
 the fact that they don't sacrifice their time and energy to do
work
 without being given money. absolutely, they would like to do a
part time
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part-time
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 job
instead
 of volunteering r.
moreover
, youngsters need money for their living, entertainment and education. which leads them to feel that they are doing good in their lives.
Furthermore
, it's learning them how to take responsibility for themselves and others in their lives which makes them more valuable to their family members. in conclusion, minors should do something that gives them a fully developed version
to
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of
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 themselves for experiencing life in different aspects and encourages them to do what they are interested in and to discover the world they live in.
Submitted by rahafusn on

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task achievement
Ensure clarity in expressing key ideas; avoid ambiguity.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphing effectively to maintain clarity and organization within the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Good introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear stance.
task achievement
Demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and addresses the task adequately.
task achievement
Successfully identifies key reasons for disagreeing with the statement.
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