Some people thinkit is important to keep and maintain old buildings rather than replacing them with modern buildings . To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Many
people
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table
Verb problem
tend
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to believe that it is important to Keep and produce ancient
property
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properties
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rather than demolish
t
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the
serorangine
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sertraline
Them and replace
with
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apply
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them
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apply
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with
modern
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the modern
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property. I completely disagree with
this
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idea because I believe that building can help many
people
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to
Verb problem
apply
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become more educated and make
citizens
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proud of their
country
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. Old
buildings
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educate many
people
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in general about the
country
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's past. It helps the new generation to become more educated about their
country
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's history and culture.
For example
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, many of the younger generation are unaware of their
country
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's past, and they are more interested in modern technology.
Therefore
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, it will remind them about their family's past.
Also
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, it might help other
people
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from other nationalities
such
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as tourists to have knowledge about the history and the past of the
country
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. Old
buildings
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are
symbol
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symbols
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for
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of
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the
country
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.
Also
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, they had purpose. Old
buildings
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evoke
people
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about culture
,
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apply
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and history, they are culturally significant for everyone who lives in the
country
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.
Because these
Correct word choice
These
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structures reflect the values, artistry, and lifestyles of the past, making them a source of pride for
citizens
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.
In addition
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, they remind
people
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of their cultural roots,
for example
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, Bait Al-Qurain Museum ,Kuwaiti
citizens
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feel a deep connection to
this
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building because it evokes the nation's heritage and achievement.
To sum up
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, I deeply believe that old
buildings
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is
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are
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important to keep and it
totally
Add a missing verb
is totally
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wrong to demolish
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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because they reflect the traditions of a
country
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, and the government must protect these
buildings
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from any detrimental effect . Ancient
buildings
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have a huge impact on
citizens
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so replacing them will harm them .

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position regarding whether to maintain old buildings or replace them with modern properties. A more explicit thesis statement will strengthen your response.
task achievement
Develop your main points more comprehensively. While you presented two arguments for maintaining old buildings, they could be more clearly defined and supported with more varied and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from better organization. Try to provide a clear topic sentence for each paragraph and ensure that your arguments flow logically from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking your ideas. Although there is a general flow, using more transitional words and phrases will enhance the cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay recognizes the cultural and educational value of old buildings, which are important points for your argument.
task achievement
You provide a good example with Bait Al-Qurain Museum, indicating your awareness of cultural symbols and their significance.
coherence cohesion
You made an effort to provide a conclusion that summarizes your points, which helps tie your essay together.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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