IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie chart compares the reasons for using
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 or
bicycle
Use synonyms
 to
went
Change the form of the verb
go
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the main cause for driving to
work
Use synonyms
 is the
car
Use synonyms
 is more comfortable and the most
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 for
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 who
cycling
Wrong verb form
cycle
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
 is to keep healthy and fitness.
However
Linking Words
, the most cause to
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
Use synonyms
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
 to go to
work
Use synonyms
 is to stay
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
 and
fitness
Replace the word
fit
show examples
 about 30%
while
Linking Words
 the use of
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
 is 40% because it is
comfort
Replace the word
comfortable
show examples
. The second reason is the distance about 21%
Change preposition
of
show examples
people
Use synonyms
loves
Change the verb form
love
show examples
 to
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 a
car
Use synonyms
 for long
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who
loves
Change the verb form
love
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cycling because it is less
polluation
Correct your spelling
polluting
 30% , no costs 13 and no parking
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 15%.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 driving
Add the comma(s)
, for this reason,
show examples
for
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason
more
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
 safer than
cylcling
Correct your spelling
cycling
 11% and need
ro
Correct your spelling
to
 carry things to
work
Use synonyms
 14%.
Whatever
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, 12%
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 think the
bicycle
Use synonyms
 is faster than
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
a car
the car
show examples
 and 14% think
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
 is faster than
Use synonyms
bicycle
Add an article
a bicycle
the bicycle
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words car, bicycle, work, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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