IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that visitors to other countries should obey local behaviors while other people disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #visitors #countries #behaviors #host #country #differences
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In
this
 day and age, a number of individuals think that tourists to foreign countries should respect local
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, others argue that
host
Correct article usage
the host
show examples
 country should welcome cultural diversity. From my personal perspective, I agree to a certain extent with
Correct article usage
the statment
show examples
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
 given;
however
, there are some issues to consider. Both sides will be examined in the following paragraphs. On the
one
 hand, it is undeniable that there are a variety of beneficial aspects associated with visitors
obey
Wrong verb form
obeying
show examples
 local-being. The primary and most crucial
one
 is that
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 generation can learn exactly
tranditional
Correct your spelling
traditional
 culture.
In other words
, if
people
 respect local
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 and
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 try to change, they can enhance
Correct pronoun usage
their knowlenge
show examples
knowlenge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 about
history
Add an article
the history
show examples
 of other countries
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 may help
you
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 in some ways.
People
, for
intrance
Correct your spelling
instance
entrance
, develop tools that support their activities which
inspire
Wrong verb form
are inspired
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 local
behaviors
. Encouraging ethical
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 is the
last
 positive key factor to be taken into account.
Therefore
, Individuals may improve their skills
such
 as
obey
Wrong verb form
obeying
show examples
 and
respect
Wrong verb form
respecting
show examples
 others
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to benefits side for
one
's life.
On the contrary
,
although
 there are some favourable aspects of obeying local
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, several
advantage
Change to a plural noun
advantages
show examples
 of
host
Add an article
the host
show examples
 country should
welcome
Wrong verb form
welcoming
show examples
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
 cultures should be well-considered. The initial and most obvious
one
 is that locals should adopt
an ideas
Correct the article-noun agreement
ideas
an idea
show examples
 and effort to create activities that
relative
Add a missing verb
are relative
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
local-being
Correct your spelling
local being
show examples
 but
normal
Correct word choice
that normal
show examples
people
 can easy to access.
For
this
 reason, locals can generate high
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
show examples
 and steady income.
For example
,
people
 who live in local
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 try to decrease
strong
Correct article usage
the strong
show examples
flavor
Change the spelling
flavour
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their food which can
attractive
Replace the word
attract
show examples
 foreigners to order. Another advantage is that sometimes cultural diversity can produce
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 quality for
one
's life. In conclusion, even though there are some benefits of obeying local
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, I hold the view that
favourable
Correct article usage
the favourable
show examples
 associated with welcoming
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
 cultures outweigh them. If
locals
Add a verb
locals are
locals were
show examples
 sufficiently
efford
Correct your spelling
afford
 to adopt
an ideas
Correct the article-noun agreement
ideas
an idea
show examples
 and adapt to their culture, it is almost certain that they will generate high
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
show examples
,
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
income
Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
show examples
, better quality for
one
's life.
Submitted by t.shetthong on

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coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical structure by ensuring each paragraph clearly focuses on one main idea. Transition smoothly between contrasting views.
task achievement
Elaborate and clarify your points and examples for a more comprehensive response. Consider adding additional specific examples to reinforce your arguments.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion, addressing both perspectives on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion.
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