IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#week #workers #weekend
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It is argued
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many
people
 that
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
 week should be shorter and have a longer weekend
while
 others believe that
for having
Change preposition
to have
show examples
 a powerful economy we need to
work
 longer
hours
 and have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 rest days. Personally, I tend to agree with the fact that working longer
hours
 will lead to
overall
 growth for
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 and eventually for the
people
. In recent times, many individuals claim that working long
hours
 is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 human bodies and
people
Correct word choice
that people
show examples
 should have more rest days and longer weekends to spend time with their family and enjoy their lives.
Furthermore
, technology is playing a crucial role in
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
show examples
 of things that have to be done by humans.
For example
, recent
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 improvements help us to automate many works that
people
 had to do by themselves in the past which eventually
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
shorter working weeks.
On the other hand
, some
people
 believe that society would
be benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
 from a strong economy and in order to have that
people
 should
work
 hard and longer
hours
 rather than usual limits.
For instance
, the biggest economy in the world belongs to the USA and by looking at working
hours
 for
this
 country it can be seen that in some industries in the US, some workers are willing to
work
 70 to 100
hours
 per week. In conclusion,
although
 working
hours
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been a hot topic in recent years and many believe that
people
 should
work
 less than before,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
I believe
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
 week should not be shorter than now and the benefit of working longer would be for the society themselves.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and is logically structured. Improve transitions between paragraphs for better flow.
Task Response
Introduce more specific points and examples to thoroughly support your perspective.
Task Response
Include a more balanced discussion of the opposing view to enhance your argument.
Task Response
The essay presents a clear position on the topic from the beginning.
Task Response
The writer shows understanding of different perspectives, acknowledging both benefits and drawbacks of a shorter working week.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, serving the overall structure well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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