IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that nowadays supporting physical
archives
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 for general usage doesn’t pay off because of the functionality of
computer
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technologies
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. I absolutely agree with
this
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 opinion and believe that
technologies
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 can replace real
libraries
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. First of all, I think that information
technologies
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such
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 as online
archives
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, websites, etc., are more comfortable and efficient in practice. Unlike public
libraries
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, it is easier and quicker to research information online since there are options to search either by picture or by text,
as well as
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 the ability to switch from one source to another. Those functions of
computer
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technologies
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 save the time of users, allowing them to get the needed knowledge or source faster.
Also
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, it is more comfortable to have all information on either a mobile phone or a laptop than to
contact
Verb problem
deal
show examples
 with a huge amount of books and documents.
For example
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, a lot of students who have to deal with a great amount of tests and projects often choose to use AI or online library services rather than going to the archive on their own. That’s why
computer
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technologies
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 are more helpful in daily life.
Secondly
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, looking after public
libraries
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costs
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 more than technological analogies.
In other words
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, public
archives
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 require supervision, cleaning, and electricity
costs
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.
Moreover
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, there have to be staff workers who can provide help to visitors, but
then
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 they have to get a salary, which is
also
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 considered a cost.
For instance
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, some public
libraries
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 have transitioned to the online space, so they can
minimize
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minimise
show examples
costs
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 on maintaining a physical library and
maximize
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maximise
show examples
 the output by suggesting a subscription for online usage.
Thus
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, keeping public
archives
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 in appropriate condition requires big investments, which can be avoided by transferring them to
computer
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technologies
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.
To conclude
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, I am convinced that
computer
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technologies
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 can replace public
libraries
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, which are a waste of money, because they
suggest
Verb problem
offer
show examples
 more abilities and greater acceptance,
as well as
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minimizing
Change the spelling
minimising
show examples
 the
costs
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.

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content
Add a clear counter-argument and show why your view is stronger.
structure
Make links between ideas clearer with simple connect words like also, but, and.
content
Use more specific examples that relate to real places or facts to back up points.
language
Check grammar and use plain words to keep the tone easy to read.
content
Clear stance in favour of technology replacing libraries
structure
Good use of order and signpost words to guide the reader
coherence
Focus on cost and ease of use with tech
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of books
  • promoting literacy
  • community engagement
  • equal access to information
  • digital divide
  • accessibility issues
  • personalized assistance
  • educational programs
  • cultural events
  • safe spaces
  • community meetings
  • tactile experience
  • preserving historical documents
  • important cultural repositories
  • fostering a sense of community
  • communal hubs
  • serene and focused environment
  • conducive to study and reflection
  • irreplaceable value
  • distracted environment
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