IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that there will be a reduction in air travel in the future. Do you think that this trand is a positive or negative development.

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Number
Change the article
A number
The number
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 think that in future there will be a decline in
air
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travel
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 has some advantages
such
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 as clean ecosystems, and
people
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’s health will be better,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 it has some disadvantages
such
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 as exploring other planets and
cosmos
Correct article usage
the cosmos
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. In
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 development
Firstly
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, it is
common
Add an article
a common
the common
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view
Add the particle
to view
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 that a reduction in
air
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
 will lead to
decrease
Add an article
a decrease
the decrease
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of
Change preposition
in
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 carbon emissions level
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 since
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
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 make a lot of carbon footprint in our ecosystem that detrimentally
damage
Correct subject-verb agreement
damages
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 it. As an example, plenty of planes need natural gas, which is when mining has
negative
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a negative
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 effect on
environment
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the environment
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.
Furthermore
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, radiation from
air
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 vehicles
also
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 affects
people
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’s health, when they are flying
people
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 get more
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 of radiation.
Thus
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,
air
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
 has a lot of downsides, which will be solved if government officials embrace it seriously.
However
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, it has some drawbacks that will influence our exploration of
cosmos
Correct article usage
the cosmos
show examples
. Because it will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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 on speed of exploration.
For example
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,
people
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 fly to explore the cosmos and planets a lot of times, which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 an impact on
level
Add an article
the level
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 of exploration. Scientists in these explorations will find a replacement for the earth.
However
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, it is not a hundred
percent
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per cent
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 that they will do it,
therefore
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 we do not rely on it. In conclusion,
Replace the word
reducing
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reduction
Replace the word
reducing
show examples
Use synonyms
Change preposition
in air
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air
Change preposition
in air
show examples
travel
Use synonyms
 will affect beneficially for
people
Use synonyms
 and
Correct article usage
the
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an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 environment
,
Rephrase
beneficially, nevertheless
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nevertheless
Linking Words
 drawbacks
such
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 as
Correct article usage
a slowdown
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slowdown
Correct article usage
a slowdown
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 of exploitation here too. In my opinion, the benefits of
reduction
Replace the word
reducing
show examples
air
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
 will outweigh the disadvantages of
this
Linking Words

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will help in making your arguments more persuasive and clear.
task achievement
Ensure that your key points are elaborated sufficiently with explanations. Avoid just stating the point; delve into why it is an advantage or disadvantage.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between your ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
You have provided both positive and negative aspects, showing an attempt to discuss the topic from multiple angles.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps frame your response.
coherence cohesion
Your intention to discuss advantages and disadvantages is clear from the beginning, which helps guide the reader through your essay.
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