Some people believe that there will be a reduction in air travel in the future. Do you think that this trand is a positive or negative development.

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Number
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A number
The number
show examples
of
people
think that in future there will be a decline in
air
travel
.
This
has some advantages
such
as clean ecosystems, and
people
’s health will be better,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
it has some disadvantages
such
as exploring other planets and
cosmos
Correct article usage
the cosmos
show examples
. In
this
essay
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essay,
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I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
this
development
Firstly
, it is
common
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a common
the common
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view
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to view
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that a reduction in
air
travel
will lead to
decrease
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a decrease
the decrease
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of
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in
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carbon emissions level
,
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apply
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since
airplanes
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aeroplanes
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make a lot of carbon footprint in our ecosystem that detrimentally
damage
Correct subject-verb agreement
damages
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it. As an example, plenty of planes need natural gas, which is when mining has
negative
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a negative
show examples
effect on
environment
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the environment
show examples
.
Furthermore
, radiation from
air
vehicles
also
affects
people
’s health, when they are flying
people
get more
level
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levels
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of radiation.
Thus
,
air
travel
has a lot of downsides, which will be solved if government officials embrace it seriously.
However
, it has some drawbacks that will influence our exploration of
cosmos
Correct article usage
the cosmos
show examples
. Because it will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on speed of exploration.
For example
,
people
fly to explore the cosmos and planets a lot of times, which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
an impact on
level
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the level
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of exploration. Scientists in these explorations will find a replacement for the earth.
However
, it is not a hundred
percent
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per cent
show examples
that they will do it,
therefore
we do not rely on it. In conclusion,
Replace the word
reducing
show examples
reduction
Replace the word
reducing
show examples
Change preposition
in air
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air
Change preposition
in air
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travel
will affect beneficially for
people
and
Correct article usage
the
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an
Correct article usage
the
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environment
,
Rephrase
beneficially, nevertheless
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nevertheless
drawbacks
such
as
Correct article usage
a slowdown
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slowdown
Correct article usage
a slowdown
show examples
of exploitation here too. In my opinion, the benefits of
reduction
Replace the word
reducing
show examples
air
travel
will outweigh the disadvantages of
this
Submitted by erkasiet2008 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will help in making your arguments more persuasive and clear.
task achievement
Ensure that your key points are elaborated sufficiently with explanations. Avoid just stating the point; delve into why it is an advantage or disadvantage.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between your ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
You have provided both positive and negative aspects, showing an attempt to discuss the topic from multiple angles.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps frame your response.
coherence cohesion
Your intention to discuss advantages and disadvantages is clear from the beginning, which helps guide the reader through your essay.
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